


Meta

by megastarstrike



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crushes, Fanfiction, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, ao3 - Freeform, beta reader!Shirogane, fanfic writer!Ouma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-04 00:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megastarstrike/pseuds/megastarstrike
Summary: As a fanfiction writer, Kokichi was prepared for every situation ranging from posting a new chapter with a typo to losing an entire draft. He was well aware that some of his classmates read his work, including his beta reader Tsumugi and frequent commenter Miu.That being said, he had no idea what to do about his crush somehow finding his fanfiction and starting to read them.





	1. Worldbuilding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ReturnToZero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReturnToZero/gifts).



> @ReturnToZero ;)
> 
> There's gonna be a lot of references to fanfiction terminology and writing culture in general so here's a list of vocabulary, which I won't even use 20% of: http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/moonbeam/terms.html

“God damn it, Ouma-kun!” was a phrase Kokichi was hearing at a much higher frequency than before, especially from his beta after he sent her his half-coherent ramblings from late at night while surviving solely off grape Panta and poptarts.

He picked up his buzzing phone and grinned at the caller before accepting. “Hi, Shiro-chan! What can I do for you at two in the morning?”

Tsumugi responded immediately, her voice groggy. “Did you seriously send me your first draft?”

“No, I actually spent a lot of time on it. That was the tenth draft.”

“God damn it, Ouma-kun. Stop lying.”

“Nishishi! So you caught me again.”

Tsumugi sighed. “If this happens again, I’m going to tell everyone you write fanfiction.”

“You were literally sworn to secrecy, Shiro-chan.”

And he wasn’t lying about that. Tsumugi had sent him a direct message on his linked Tumblr saying she would only not release his secret identity to the world if she was allowed to be his beta reader for his future fics. While Kokichi wasn’t pleased about being on the receiving end of blackmail for once, he had agreed on the condition that she never complain about his characterization and promptly sent her an entire contract detailing their relationship. Tsumugi clicked the checkbox marking that she agreed to his terms and conditions, and that’s how their kind-of-friendship had started.

“Anyway, did you ever post your latest chapter?” Tsumugi asked.

Kokichi hummed as clicked on the bookmark to AO3 on his computer and checked on his latest work. “Yup! You should know, you literally left a flame on it.”

“It was the only chapter you didn’t send to me, and it was also the most widely-criticized chapter. Don’t you see a pattern there?”

“Relax, dear, the only flame was from a new guy, and it wasn’t even a flame. Someone calling themselves _Detective,_ I think.” He clicked on his latest chapter and read through the comments until he had reached the one from his newest reviewer.

 

 _Detective_  
_Dude you are seriously like the best writer ever and I feel so immersed_  
_in your stories but your goddamn characterization is so freaking bad that  
it makes me want to just pretend it's an original story_

 

“Yeah, I think I remember that,” Tsumugi said, “There were a bunch of comments replying to it already. You know, with your unspoken rule about characterization. How are you going to reply to it?”

The only rule concerning Kokichi’s fics was that no one could say anything about the characterization, not praising it nor complaining about it. Even flames were allowed as long as they didn’t touch characterization. His followers were quick to point new readers to his profile, where he had written the rule for everyone to see.

Kokichi rolled away in his wheely chair and scoffed. “It’s about characterization. There’s already a ton of complaints about that, so I just won’t reply.”

“Actually, what’s up with that? I know that the protagonist is just a really bad self-insert, but—”

“Who said anything about a self-insert?”

Tsumugi paused as she gathered her thoughts. “Your characterization of the minor characters are really well-done, so I know you can keep people in character. The only OOC people are the protagonist and the main love interest.”

“That doesn’t explain why you think it’s a self-insert.”

“It’s like you intentionally write them out of character. The protagonist makes a ton of jokes and pranks people even though he’s not someone who would do that in canon. He also grins too much for his own good, but we’ve only seen him smile twice in the entire series. He’s an honest character, but he tells lies at every turn. The only thing that could make this more obvious is if you made him say ‘nishishi.’”

Kokichi frowned. “I did in chapter two.”

“There you go.” She paused. “There’s no shame in making a self-insert. My only concern is about the love interest. He’s not shy, and he doesn’t stutter in canon. I also caught that slip-up where you describe his eyes as golden, but I guess I can excuse that as just laziness. The only thing I can’t excuse is his stupid hat. He doesn’t wear a hat in canon, so why would he wear it now?”

“Yeah, I hate that hat, too,” Kokichi mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing. Did you make your suggestions yet?”

“Yeah, I’ll send them to you right now.” After a few clicks, the edited copy was returned to him.

“Great, thanks. Bye!” Kokichi clicked the end call button with sweat dripping down his head.

He had almost revealed his motive, and if he learned anything from his years of writing, it was that motives were never revealed until the very end. That was what his readers had liked from him, after all.

But no matter. There were more important things to attend to.

Kokichi’s lips straightened into a line as he scrolled through the pages drowned in red. He took a deep breath before chugging the last of his Panta can and tossing into the overflowing recycling bin filled with other empty Panta bottles. The notebooks of edits and drafts he kept on his desk were pushed to the side. He rolled closer to the table and set his hands on the keyboard.

It was going to be a long night.

 

*

 

“Ouma-kun, I gave you reminders to sleep every hour. Why did you not sleep?” Tsumugi scolded.

Kokichi smirked and reached up to tap her nose. “Ah, but you had to be awake to send me those reminders. Checkmate, Shiro-chan!”

The two continued bickering in their corner of the classroom, Tsumugi’s scowl progressively growing deeper and deeper while Kokichi’s grin only grew wider with each word.

Shuuichi stared at them, tuning out the sound of the chatter in the classroom and focusing only Kokichi. His gaze trailed Tsumugi’s hand as she patted him on the hair and sighed something about him being just like a character while Kokichi’s giggles tickled Shuuichi’s heart. Heat rose to his cheeks, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scene.

“Hey, Saihara-kun!”

Shuuichi jumped upon hearing his friend’s voice and scrambled to gather his thoughts. “Oh, hi, Akamatsu-san.”

Kaede took the seat next to him and looked where Shuuichi had been staring. “Your face is red. What were you looking at?”

“Um…”

“Oh, were you looking at Shirogane-san?” She giggled as Shuuichi sputtered out excuses. “No judgement here. She looks really sexy today.”

Shuuichi stared at her for a moment before shrugging and giving her a “sure.”

Kaede’s eyes lit up when she unlocked her phone and checked her social media. “Saihara-kun, look! _A Phantom Thief_ updated today! MissOtaku released the link on her Tumblr.” She held the phone to her chest and looked around. “Should I read it now or save it for later? If I read it, I’m gonna be thinking about it for the rest of the day, but if I don’t read it, I’ll still be thinking about it…”

“Well, you always leave a comment, right? I think you should save it for when you get home so it’s easier to comment.”

“... Fine, I guess.” She put her phone away and moved the conversation to a different topic.

Even as Shuuichi nodded along to Kaede describing her last piano recital, he could feel two gazes burning into his back.

 

*

 

Kokichi had known Tsumugi long enough to know that her smirk was never a good thing.

“So…” Tsumugi said, sitting next to him as lunch began and the last of the students in their class had left the room. “Akamatsu-san reads your fics.”

Kokichi grinned and folded his arms behind his head. “Yup! I’m surprised you never noticed. Didn’t the pseud PianoIdiot stand out to you?”

“Isn’t that exciting to you?” Tsumugi’s eyes sparkled. “Being such a BNF that even people in your real life know and love your fics… That’s the dream.”

“You’re not even a writer, you’re a cosplayer.”

She ignored him. “Do you think anyone else here reads your fics? You and GreatestInventor take up half the comments section with just your insults. Do you think that could be…”

“Iruma-chan? I hope not. I don’t need an ugly, stupid bitch reading my stories.”

Despite his words, Kokichi knew that Miu kept up with his fics. Miu had discovered his identity when she had burst into his room and caught him switching to an empty tab (which was a grave mistake on his part. He still berated himself for that to this day). She had made a few jokes about him watching weird porn and threatened to tell their classmates until Kokichi reluctantly switched to his word document and revealed his pseud. Miu froze and confessed to reading his fics for years. There was never any mention of that event in real life, but they both made sure to take jabs at each other in the comments section.

Now that he thought about it, he’s been blackmailed twice. He made a mental note to further secure his safety.

Kokichi kicked his legs up on the desk in an attempt to appear relaxed. “Enough about her. Do you think Saihara-chan reads my stories?”

“I mean… there’s always a possibility. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, though. What I would worry about is the fact that you used real life experiences that Akamatsu-san can identify. Remember the carnival in the last chapter?”

Kokichi stifled a laugh with his hand.

He remembered it all too well. He had gone out to a carnival with his classmates, only to see that it was the shadiest place he had ever been. The night was only lit by the dim streetlamps already scattered around the town. The games hadn’t even tried to hide their unfairness either; Kokichi could identify every trick in the book with just one glance at the booth. In the end, he was trapped in the mirror maze with Shuuichi and had “accidentally” tipped over a mirror, causing the entire booth to collapse.

“Fun times, fun times,” Kokichi said, “But I used my mirror maze experience with Saihara-chan, so Akamatsu-chan probably doesn’t know.”

Tsumugi looked like she wanted to say more but allowed the subject to drop. “How’s your next chapter coming along?”

“I literally posted one five hours ago. Patience, Shiro-chan.”

“I would say I have enough of it having to deal with you all day.”

“Rude. Anyway, you look like you want to talk about something.”

Tsumugi scowled. “Can you believe the writers would just pull a cheap move like that? Where’s the pizazz? The passion?”

Kokichi nodded along, occasionally butting in to support Tsumugi’s opinion. By the end of lunch, her rant had watered down to a light ramble.

She sighed. “Thanks for listening, Ouma-kun.”

“No problem, Shiro-chan.”

They sat in silence when class started, Tsumugi’s gaze fixed on Kokichi’s notebook as he outlined his next draft.

 

*

 

“What’s up, cuck?” A figure threw their arm under Kokichi’s chin and put him into a headlock, ruffling his hair with their other hand.

Even without the greeting, Kokichi could identify the person from the weak, oddly affectionate semi-choke. “Nothing much, you cocksucking whore.” He shrugged her arm off to greet her properly. “What do you want, Iruma-chan?”

“Can I talk to you about your fanfi—”

“No, I don’t know where your vibrator is! You’re the one that uses it all the time!” Kokichi shouted. He smiled upon seeing the other students in the hallway flee and hurry out of school.

“Did you really have to do that?”

“Yup. Now that they’re gone, what did you want to say about it?”

Miu glanced around before leaning in and whispering, “I think the creepy fucker and the avocado fucker read your fics.”

“Nice descriptions there. You mean ShinGucci-chan and Amami-chan?”

She snorted. “Remember when you called him that to his face?”

“Of course. I remember my hospital visits fondly.”

“Anyway, they’re probably reading your fics. Just thought you would want to know there’s more perverts in this hell school.”

Kokichi grabbed her wrist before she could leave. “Wait, what makes you say that? I know you’re a dumb slut and all, but you can’t just say a claim without evidence.”

“You do that all the time, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Yeah, but that’s a pretty extreme claim to make. What makes you say that?”

Miu tore his hand off her wrist with a wrinkled nose. “They were talking about _A Phantom Thief_ in science today. They looked really excited about it too.”

Great, five people in his class alone read his fanfiction. He didn’t want to think about the entire school. Ever since Tsumugi had offered to promote his writing on her Tumblr, his follower count had steadily grown until it leveled off at ten thousand. Of course, with popularity came consequences.

What was he going to do about it? What _could_ he do about it? It’s not like he could stop asking them to read his fics. That would be too suspicious. Kokichi supposed he should stop including scenes that drew from his experiences with them, but the readers loved them.

… He supposed there really was nothing he could do except keep writing.

“You might wanna add a smut scene to scare them off,” Miu said.

Kokichi wagged his finger in front of his face. “That’s what you want, Iruma-chan, not them.”

“Damn, how’d you know?”

“Don’t you know? I’m psychic! I can read your mind.”

“Nice try, jackass, but that shit doesn’t exist in real life.” Miu pulled out her phone, narrowing her eyes at the text that had just come in. “Tittygane’s asking if we wanted to join her for ice cream with some other people.”

“Who are these other people?”

“Fuck if I know.”

Kokichi evaluated his decisions before shrugging. He led her out of the building and to the address Tsumugi had texted them.

 

*

 

Kokichi’s entire life was a huge mistake. He had decided that when he walked into the ice cream parlor and immediately saw Shuuichi and Rantarou in a booth with Tsumugi, who waved them over before Kokichi could hide his face of despair.

Kokichi narrowed his eyes the slightest bit at Tsumugi, whose smile looked suspiciously close to a smirk. Nevertheless, he sat in between Tsumugi and Miu. They greeted each other before Kokichi moved to order at the counter.

A hand grabbed his arm before he could take a step. “Actually, Ouma-kun, we already ordered something for all of us to split. Is that okay with you?”

Kokichi turned around, only to see golden eyes staring back at him. His heart lurched at the contact, but he reluctantly drew his arm away and covered his embarrassment with a grin. “Man, Saihara-chan, if you wanted to touch me so badly, you could just ask.”

The other three guests laughed as Shuuichi’s face burned red.

Shuuichi sputtered out words to defend himself. “Th-That’s not what I was trying to—”

“Wait,” Miu said, sitting inside the booth next to Tsumugi. “You mean he just has to ask you and you would say yes? And I thought I was the slut here. You can’t share that title with me!”

The laughter grew louder, and Shuuichi wasn’t the only one blushing this time.

Kokichi took a seat next to Miu and nodded. “Yup! I would do anything for Saihara-chan since I just love him soooo much!”

Shuuichi sighed as the redness in his face faded. “Another lie, right?”

“Huh? Are you doubting my love for you? How could you?” Kokichi burst into tears, prompting Shuuichi to mutter apologies.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Rantarou said as the small, plastic box on the table vibrated. “Our order’s ready. I’ll go get it.” He stood up to get their order.”

Miu stared after the box longingly, and Tsumugi elbowed her in the ribs.

“What did we order anyway?” Kokichi asked, pointedly ignoring the scene next to him.

Tsumugi hummed and looked up. “I think we just ordered a bunch of ice cream scoops in different flavors. They didn’t have grape, so we just ordered a waffle for you.”

“Don’t you have to construct it, though? No offense, Shiro-chan, but you probably made it into Naruto or something.”

“You’re right, I would have done that if Saihara-kun didn’t step in and construct it for you.”

“Hm… I still think you messed with it somehow.”

Before Tsumugi could respond, Rantarou came back with their orders and set them on the table.

Kokichi looked down at the smiley face drawn in chocolate syrup and at the mountain of whipped cream on top of the waffle before saying, “I guess Shiro-chan really didn’t mess with it.”

Tsumugi puffed her cheeks out and frowned. “See? I told you.”

“Thanks! I hate it!”

“Since you liked sweet things from that carnival, I just thought… nevermind,” Shuuichi mumbled before dipping his spoon in the vanilla ice cream and bringing it to his mouth.

“But that was a…” _Lie_ was left unsaid when Kokichi realized no one was listening to him. He cut a piece of the waffle and stuffed it into his mouth. “Wow! It’s really good!” _And that wasn’t a lie._ “Here, Saihara-chan, try some.” He held a piece to Shuuichi’s mouth.

Shuuichi hesitated before eating the waffle piece. He offered him a smile. “Yeah, it is. I’m… glad you don’t hate it.”

Kokichi nodded and leaned back, moving to eat the rest of his waffle.

“Indirect kiss,” Tsumugi whispered, her eyes sparkling.

“Indirect kiss!” Miu repeated in a much louder voice. She cackled upon seeing Shuuichi’s face light up again and Kokichi’s hold on his fork tighten. “You guys gotta fuck now!” She shriveled when Kokichi sent her a glare. “S-Sorry. Shirogane said that, not me”

Kokichi leaned over and moved his glare to a laughing Tsumugi before turning his attention back to Shuuichi and smiling. “Wanna make that indirect kiss more direct?”

“Y-You shouldn’t joke about things like that,” Shuuichi mumbled. He fought to keep his blush down and looked Kokichi straight in the eyes. “But I wouldn’t mind.”

All the air was punched out of Kokichi’s lungs. He brought his scarf up to his mouth to hide his blush. Judging by everyone’s laughter, he was failing miserably. Hell, even Shuuichi was laughing at him!

But Shuuichi’s laughter was more of a light chuckle than a laugh. A _cute, adorable, sweet_ chuckle.

Kokichi buried his face in his scarf, feeling his face heat up just from his laughter alone.

“Looks like someone’s a virgin,” Miu cooed.

“Shut up, slut.” With that, Kokichi recovered and dropped his scarf back down to his neck. He exchanged insults with Miu while Tsumugi sighed and Rantarou laughed at the particularly creative jokes. Shuuichi watched them with a smile before reminding them that the ice cream was melting. The other three dove to finish their order.

Kokichi’s heart melted along with the ice cream.

 

*

 

Shuuichi looked around the library.

A few other students were scattered around the study area, some tables empty and others holding only one person. Children filtered in and out with their parents for a reading happening on the other side of the library. It was like almost like a ghost town.

 _Okay, I’m safe. He_ opened another tab on his laptop and clicked on the latest chapter of _A Phantom Thief._ He was supposed to be studying for a history test the next week, but that could wait.

He hid his smile behind a hand as he read the beginning scene of a shady carnival. The detective had soon been separated from his friends and was trapped in the mirror maze with the thief.

Shuuichi’s heart swelled. Was this going to be the moment?

The thief moved in to steal a kiss, but he knocked over a mirror and sent the entire booth crashing along with it. He escaped before the detective could stop him, leaving the detective to deal with the consequences.

Shuuichi almost groaned at the tease. He should have expected this from a slow burn fic that was nearing novel length and was far from over, but he couldn’t help the rush of disappointment.

But the descriptions were heartbreaking. From the lingering touches to lovesick gazes from afar, it was clear that the author had gone through something similar. It was clear by the way the author portrayed the thief’s longing for the detective but not being able to trust anyone enough to let anyone get close, not even the detective. It was clear in the care the author took with every word and sentence, phrasing it in just the right way and using just the right words to tear their hearts out.

He leaned back in his chair and switched his tab to his notes before a discovery hit him.

_Wait… That mirror maze scene happened to me and Ouma-kun a year ago…_

Shuuichi slowly switched the tab back to the fanfiction and typed out his comment.

 

*

 

 _PianoIdiot_  
_Wow another great chapter!!! I can’t believe this only took you a week to_  
_write, especially with the descriptions of love the thief feels. It’s almost like  
you’re living it yourself! Thank you for writing this OP!!!_

 _GreatestInventor_  
_Hey cuck can i have uhhhh fuckng happy ending??? Let them get it on  
already you boring bastard_

 _MissOtaku_  
_Wow there was a grammar error in the second section. I wonder who was_  
_supposed catch that ;) But seriously you do some good work. You should  
be proud of yourself._

 _Detective_  
_I know I say I love slow burn, but this is getting ridiculous. 50k words in_  
_and they still haven’t held hands? Oh well. I just wanted to say that the_  
_exact same thing in the mirror maze happened to me and my friend once at_  
_this really shady carnival. I was initially kind of mad about it, but now that I_  
_look back at it, it was pretty funny. Is this a more universal experience than I  
thought it would be?_

 

As soon as Kokichi saw the comment, his heart jumped, but not in the way described in romance movies. It was the kind of jump that made his throat constrict, his chest tighten, and everything around him swirl. It was _panic._

Kokichi took a deep, shuddery breath and shook his head.

There was no way Shuuichi was reading his fanfiction, especially not his poorly disguised self-inserts. He hadn’t mentioned ever playing the game Kokichi was writing about, nor had he expressed any desire to engage in fandom. Besides, Shuuichi had seemed pretty pissed about what they deemed The Great Mirror Maze Collapse. It was impossible for him to talk about that event so fondly.

No, he was just jumping to conclusions.


	2. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That chapter title probably doesn't mean what you think it means.
> 
> special thanks to tia37 for pointing out an error in the first chapter and helping this chapter be better! Thank you so much!

Something told Shuuichi that going to a hibachi restaurant with half the class was bound to end in disaster, but he went anyway. Now, he found himself sitting in between Kokichi and Miu as the two bickered, exchanging insults while Shuuichi wondered what he did to make fate so angry at him.

“Hey, you two, stop fighting,” Kaede said from beside Miu. She sighed when they ignored her. “If you can’t stop, then can one of you switch seats with Saihara-kun? He looks uncomfortable.”

Kokichi pouted and wrapped his arms around Shuuichi’s right arm. “But Akamatsu-chan, I don’t wanna sit next to that ugly bitch, I wanna sit next to my beloved Saihara-chan!” He grinned as Kaede scolded him.

Tsumugi, who sat beside Kokichi, exchanged a long look with Shuuichi and mouthed, _This is what I have to deal with every day._

“I saw that, Shiro-chan! You’re not subtle at all,” Kokichi said, releasing his grip on Shuuichi and whirling around to face Tsumugi. “Are you trying to say I’m annoying? Does our friendship mean nothing to you?”

Shuuichi’s fingers brushed over where Kokichi had hugged him, missing the contact already.

“Are you okay, Saihara-kun?” Rantarou asked from beside Kaede. “I can always switch with you if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. That won’t be necessary.”

“Are you sure? I know sitting between Iruma-san and Ouma-kun can be emotionally taxing.”

Both Miu and Kokichi whipped around to him, ready to refute, but their chef had arrived before either of them could speak.

“Alright, how’s everyone doing tonight?” the chef asked, turning on the grill. He received a variety of answers as he juggled his tools, the silver edges glimmering under the lights of the restaurant.

Shuuichi looked to his right, and the bright sparks couldn’t compare to the stars in Kokichi’s eyes as he watched the chef intently.

Tsumugi nudged Kokichi and whispered, “Take notes, my dear problematic fave.”

Kokichi’s only response was him sticking his tongue out at her.

The chef poured a clear liquid over the grill before reaching into his pocket and taking out a lighter. He gave them only a few seconds to prepare for the incoming fire before lighting the grill ablaze.

The fire followed the liquid trail, first starting small before erupting into a flame as high as the ceiling. The sudden light and heat forced both Shuuichi and his friends back.

Kokichi leaned forward, the reflection of the fire dancing in his eyes. When the flames retreated, he said, “That’s so cool! How long did it take you to learn that?”

The chef answered him while cracking eggs on the grill.

Kokichi nodded along to every word the chef said as if his life depended on memorizing his words. He held his phone under the counter, typing out some of the answers.

“What’s with the sudden interest, Ouma-kun?” Rantarou asked. “Do you want to be a hibachi chef?”

Miu choked on her drink and hunched over the table in laughter while Tsumugi slammed her palm against her forehead, giggles shaking her body.

Kokichi blinked and shifted his gaze to Rantarou. It was as if he had just been snapped out of a trance. “Sure. Something like that.”

“I can see that, actually,” Kaede said, “Ouma-kun likes entertaining people, right? I think he could definitely have a career as something like this.” She pumped her fists in the air. “Go for it, Ouma-kun! We believe in you!”

Tsumugi and Miu’s laughter only grew more hysteric as Kokichi’s cheeks burned pink.

“Yeah, thanks, Akamatsu-chan,” Kokichi mumbled before turning back to the chef, who explained the training process with a renewed vigor.

Shuuichi stared at him, his eyes narrowed. If it was truly a career Kokichi had an interest in, he would have admitted it with an excitement only a child at a candy store could rival. Even if it wasn’t, he would have had a more extreme reaction than just a blank stare and mumble. It was out of character. Almost _too_ out of character to be natural. Or maybe he was just reading too much fanfiction.

A few minutes later, the eggs had been fully cooked. The chef chopped the eggs into tiny pieces and scooped one onto his spatula. “Who wants one?”

Kokichi’s hand shot in the air. “Oh, me! Me!”

The chef threw the piece of egg into his mouth and cheered when he caught it successfully. “Who’s next?”

“Over here!” Kaede called, opening her mouth in preparation. She tilted her head back to catch the egg, smiling as she chewed.

“Anyone else?”

“Eh, why not?” Rantarou said, shrugging.

The chef tossed another egg piece in his direction, and Rantarou leaned to his left to catch it. The chef shoveled the pile of eggs and held it in Miu’s direction. “You, open your mouth.” He chuckled at Miu’s terrified expression and the others’ laughter before dropping the eggs on the grill.

“I don’t know,” Kokichi said, a smirk growing on his face. “I’m pretty sure a slutty whore like Iruma-chan could fit something like that down her throat no problem.”

Miu rubbed her legs together and moaned as Tsumugi sighed.

“You know, Ouma-kun… Sometimes I regret being friends with you.”

Kokichi pouted. “Oh, come on, she liked it.”

All eyes turned to Miu, who mumbled, “... I did.”

Variations of “God damn it, Iruma!” resounded in their area while Miu fought to defend herself.

Shuuichi chuckled at the argument and grabbed his drink, only to taste the sweetest, most overwhelming flavor that had ever touched his tongue. He slammed the drink back down before bursting into a fit of coughs.

“Saihara-kun, are you okay?” Kaede asked, leaning over the counter to check on him.

Shuuichi nodded and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I just didn’t know my drink would be that sweet.”

“Uh… You might wanna check again,” Miu said, “Because that purple shit sure as hell wasn’t your drink.”

Shuuichi whirled around to the table, only to see that he had taken Kokichi’s drink, not the lemon water he had ordered. _Well, shit._

“Oh my god,” Tsumugi squealed, “Another indirect kiss! Twice in a row!”

Shuuichi’s face flushed as alarms rang in his head. He opened his mouth to defend himself, but Kokichi had beaten him to the response.

“So? Saihara-chan and I do things like this all the time. Isn’t that right, Saihara-chan?” Kokichi took a sip of Shuuichi’s drink before scrunching his face and setting it back down, unaware of the turmoil burning in Shuuichi’s chest. “Then again, maybe more direct kisses would be better. That tasted terrible.”

Shuuichi covered his mouth with his hand, watching his reflection on the black table grow redder and redder. “Like I said before, I… I wouldn’t mind,” he mumbled.

Kokichi’s face switched from surprised to confused before blanking, all in the span of half a second. His face heated up, but he covered it with a grin. “Nishishi! Of course, you wouldn’t mind! Anyone would be lucky to kiss me.”

Tsumugi patted him on the back but chose not to say anything, instead shaking her head with a peculiar smile on her lips.

“Looks like someone’s getting laid by Suckhara tonight,” Miu cackled.

“Shut up, you stupid slut!” Kokichi said, leaning over the counter to prepare for another argument with Miu.

The conversation had turned back to casual topics, and they spent the rest of the night talking and eating before separating.

During the car ride back home, Shuuichi bit his bottom lip, his thoughts drifting back to his mistake at the restaurant. Even though he knew it was a ridiculous fantasy, he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had accepted the direct kiss offer. He smothered the thought and continued driving.

 

*

 

As much as Tsumugi faked regretting offering to be Kokichi’s beta reader, she couldn’t fake not worrying about him to some degree. That shined through in his alarmingly cryptic text posts on Tumblr an hour after their hangout at the hibachi restaurant ended.

 

 _Anon_  
 _Excuse me for asking but why is the detective_  
 _so fucking dense??? Isnt he a detective for a_  
_reason? I thought detectives were supposed  
_ to be smart

 _KingHorse  
_ _Me too bud_

 

That looked… wrong, somehow. While Tsumugi didn’t directly follow Kokichi’s blog, she lurked enough to know that he wrote out extensive replies to asks like the one the anonymous user had sent. The only time he gave curt responses was when he was facing an obvious troll or when he was frustrated. By the context of the ask, it seemed to be the latter. Could that be from the restaurant?

Tsumugi had her suspicions why, but she knew she couldn’t confront Kokichi without evidence. He would wave her off and lie his way out of the situation like he did with everything. She scanned the rest of his blog and skimmed through chapters of _A Phantom Thief_ , picking up on details she hadn’t noticed before buried in the tags.

As far as she knew, Kokichi didn’t give anyone explicit details about his life, so him basing the detective on someone online was unlikely. That only left people in their area and could be narrowed down to their class since she knew more than anyone else that he would never step foot outside if given the choice. The fact that the detective was male immediately ruled out every girl in their class.

She stumbled upon an analysis on the next few pages of his blog. “Apologizes for everything” on the analysis post also ruled out people like Kaito, Ryouma, and Korekiyo, all of which used apologies sparingly or didn’t apologize at all.

But the detective being based on someone being nice to even Kokichi was mentioned multiple times outside the tags and was tricky to deduce any clues from. Gonta was nice to everyone in his pursuit to become a gentleman. Both Rantarou and Shuuichi were his friends, so being nice was a given. His interactions with Kiibo were harder to study, but Tsumugi could recall one instance when Kokichi was announced to be sick, and Kiibo was the first to volunteer to take care of him. She couldn’t rule anyone out with that hint.

It took her two hours to dig up information about the detective’s high class rank, which was mentioned in chapter three of _A Phantom Thief_. The person having that high of a class rank was also tricky. While she could knock Gonta off the list of suspects, she couldn’t deny that the other three were similar in intelligence. Kiibo had a knack for memorization, which aided him in his studies. Shuuichi’s social media was always full of library aesthetics and cryptic messages about running solely on coffee, so it could be assumed that he spent a lot of time studying. Rantarou was always among the top five somehow. She had no idea why and it pissed her off greatly, but she pushed the thought away for another day.

Comments ranting about how oblivious the detective was could cross Rantarou off, much to her delight. Rantarou was not oblivious by any means, especially not when it came to love. Tsumugi remembered around a year ago when they were out with friends, and he had pointed at two people, predicting that they were a couple. Tsumugi had disagreed but promptly took her words back when the couple leaned in for a kiss. That left only Kiibo and Shuuichi.

When Tsumugi read the entirety of the fic again, she had come to her conclusion. The addition of the hat, the real-life experiences woven into the text, hell, even the premise of a forbidden love between a criminal and a detective supported her theory. How had she not realized sooner?

It had taken her five hours, but she had all the evidence she needed. He couldn’t run away.

Tsumugi sent him a text before shutting her laptop off and climbing into bed, willing herself to sleep. After an hour of overthinking her conclusion, she finally drifted into unconsciousness.

 

*

 

Spending late nights at the library wasn’t anything close to a good idea, but when had common sense ever influenced what Kokichi did?

He sat at a table, his back hunched over a bunch of notes he had taken from his previous chapters to avoid needing to retcon something (He cringed at the mere mention of retcons. His earlier longfics were something he wished he could burn to the ground). His gaze flickered from his open laptop to his notes as he outlined the next chapter, chuckling at the addition of the hibachi restaurant scene. He grabbed his water bottle and frowned upon realizing it was empty.

 _Nothing wrong with a water break, right?_ Kokichi thought before standing up and stretching. He walked to the water fountain but froze upon seeing a familiar red banner on a familiar person’s laptop.

No. There was no way this was happening.

He hid behind a bookshelf before peeking his head up. Sure enough, the person was navigating through the pages of AO3. More specifically, his profile, KingHorse. Kokichi watched in horror as the person clicked on _A Phantom Thief_ and skipped to the latest chapter.

The water bottle slipped from his grip, and he ducked under the shelf to hide from the reader. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking Saihara-chan reads my fanfiction! What the fuck?_

Kokichi hazarded a glance back up, only to see a taunting “Hi, Detective!” along with the picture of a black hat that had grown familiar as more comments attached with that icon were sent to his inbox.

Fuck. Shuuichi was Detective.

On second thought, Kokichi couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it coming earlier. Besides the fact that Shuuichi had literally told him he wanted to be a detective, his friends were in the fandom as well. Both Rantarou and Kaede were close to him. While he didn’t speak with Korekiyo often, they spoke often enough for something like fandom (and by extension, fanfiction) to be discussed. And a few of his newer commenters’ usernames looked awfully similar to what his classmates would call themselves…

This… This was too much. How had he missed that much foreshadowing? Kokichi picked up his water bottle and returned to his table through the other side of the building, keeping himself low to the ground. He packed up his stuff and walked outside. He could practically hear his racing heartbeat as he rushed home.

A few hours later, he received a text asking to meet him in the morning.

 

*

 

Tsumugi’s face scrunched into a scowl as soon as she saw Kokichi alone in the classroom. “Ouma Kokichi, I can _not_ believe you.”

“Spare me, save the anger for later,” Kokichi said, “I just discovered something yesterday.”

“Me too.”

“Well, mine’s more important.”

Tsumugi paused for a moment before saying, “Why don’t we both say it at the same time? It’s a fun trope.”

“... Fine. Say it on three, two, one…”

“You have a crush on Saihara-kun!”

“Saihara-chan reads my fanfiction!”

The two stared at each other in sheer horror, a deafening silence following their confessions. It was as if two enemies had reluctantly shot at each other, only to have the bullets collide and nullify each other while the two enemies were left in the confusing, terrifying silence of the night.

“I… I didn’t know you followed me,” Kokichi finally said.

Tsumugi tightened her lips and shook her head. “I don’t. I just visit your blog a lot to see how you’re interacting with your fans. You share more details with them than you do with your friends.”

“To be fair, none of them know who I am in real life,” Kokichi said, staring down at his fingernails. “It’s not like they can blackmail me or anything. They can’t bully me in real life, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“What if Akamatsu-san or Amami-kun saw it and told Saihara-kun? What would you do then?”

“I doubt anyone else has enough dedication to go through my entire blog and AO3 profile to piece the entire thing together.”

“What if they did?”

“Lie my ass off. I don’t know why you’re even asking that.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Tsumugi paused to search for the right words. “So… Saihara-kun reads your fics? Does he like them?”

Kokichi took a deep breath. “I’m guessing so. He _is_ Detective, after all.”

“I’m… actually struggling not to laugh,” Tsumugi said, her lips curling up into a smile. “It’s such a tropey situation. How does something like that even happen?”

Kokichi knew exactly how he had gotten into this mess, and it involved a lot of fantasizing, Panta, and bad decisions. But she didn’t need to know that. “Probably meth.”

“Oh.” Tsumugi stayed silent for a moment before saying, “But I think you should tell him about your identity. Your writing is really valuable to you, right? If it’s such a big part of who you are, then I think you should tell him. Pretty much everyone in the class reads your fics anyway, so I don’t think there are any risks to it.”

“Nah, I don’t wanna.”

Tsumugi glared.

“... Fine. You have a point,” Kokichi grumbled. “He’s probably just gonna insult me again.”

“Aha! So the protag _is_ a self-insert!”

“Sure, whatever.”

Tsumugi furrowed her eyebrows, her smugness erased by his blank face. “But he insulted you? How?”

A grin stretched across his face. “You’re gonna have to figure that out by yourself, Shiro-chan! I can’t just give you all the answers right away. What kind of person would I be if I did?”

“Uh… a good one?”

“We both know I’m the problematic fave, and I’m gonna keep it that way.” Kokichi’s smile faded. “Can I say you’re my beta if he doesn’t believe me?”

“Sure, I don’t mind.”  
  
The two sat in silence before bursting into laughter, shattering the tense atmosphere.

“I can’t… I can’t believe you actually have a crush on Saihara-kun,” Tsumugi said as she recovered from her laughter. “You’re actually really obvious about your crush. How has he not figured it out yet?”

“I can’t believe Saihara-chan actually reads fanfiction. I thought he would be one of those people that complain about fanfiction’s legal ambiguity, not the guy that leaves me comments on every chapter.”

“Ah, that must be why you like him so much,” Tsumugi said, pointing a finger up and leaning forward. “He subverts normal, overused cliches, so he provides a fresher perspective for you, doesn’t he?”

Kokichi gave her a blank stare. “Shiro-chan, we’re talking about a person.”

“Still. All those characterization errors finally make sense now. Wait, is that why you gave the main love interest a hat?”

“Nope, no, not at all.” Kokichi shot out of his chair and ran towards the door. “We’re late for class, Shiro-chan! We have to go!”

Tsumugi knew for a fact that they still had a good thirty minutes left before class started, but she would humor him just this once. “Sure. Let’s head to the cafeteria. I doubt you had breakfast yet.”

“Of course, I didn’t. You sent me a text that sounded like you just figured out you’re gonna be executed in the next twenty-four hours. You should buy me breakfast to make up for it.”

“I’m not going to—” She sighed upon seeing the tears collecting in Kokichi’s eyes. “Fine. I’m never buying anything else, though.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“No, I didn’t. You always got your _crush_ to buy you everything.”

“If you keep teasing me, _you’re_ gonna be crushed.”

Tsumugi smiled and walked ahead. “Sure, keep saying that to yourself when I’m eight inches taller than you.” She broke into a run upon hearing Kokichi’s shoes slam onto the floor.

Somehow, she felt as if they had grown just a bit closer.

 

*

 

Reading fanfiction before class started probably wasn’t the best idea, but in Shuuichi’s defense, he was fully prepared for the consequences of Kaede, Rantarou, or even Kaito catching him. Just to be careful, he had picked a seat facing the door and made sure to turn the brightness on his laptop down. He had even set out random worksheets to make it seem like he was doing actual work.

So how had Kokichi off all people caught him?

“I didn’t know Saihara-chan reads fanfiction,” Kokichi said, giggling. His eyes sparkled, and he leaned in closer. “What fandoms are you in? What tropes are your favorite? Which author do you like the best? Any favorite stories?”

“O-One question at a time, please.” Shuuichi took a deep breath, processing all the questions Kokichi had just asked. “As for fandoms, I’m mainly in Dangan Ronpa, but I’ll read fandom-blind. I don’t have any favorite tropes, though. What matters to me is how it’s executed.”

“Aw, that’s adorable. You don’t have a trope you would sell your soul to read more of?”

“I… no? At least, I don’t think so. Why?”

Kokichi ignored his question. He hesitated before asking, “Any recommendations for writers or stories?”

“Um… That’s tough to answer.” Shuuichi mentally browsed his bookmarks page. “I’m currently reading _A Phantom Thief_ by KingHorse right now, but it’s a WIP. Anything by KingHorse, really. I guarantee it’ll change your life.”

“... Really?”

“Yeah, all their descriptions are beautiful. The plot is genius, too, but the characterization… I don’t want to talk about the characterization,” Shuuichi said, “If you just pretend it’s an original story, I’m sure you could get through it.”

Kokichi gave him a blank stare. “Saihara-chan.”

“Yes?”

“Did you just recommend my own fics to me?”

Panic flared in Shuuichi’s chest. “Uh…”

“Yup, I’m KingHorse! Shiro-chan’s my beta, too. She’s MissOtaku, but I’m pretty sure you already knew that. And you’re Detective, right?”

Shuuichi nodded, searching desperately for an answer. There was no way someone like Kokichi would be the author behind one of the greatest fics he had read. He was probably joking again. “Yes, but… you’re lying, right? You can’t be KingHorse.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t really take you for the type of person who would…” Shuuichi trailed off upon seeing Kokichi’s face darken and reframed his thoughts. “Weren’t you just making fun of me for reading fanfiction?”

“I wasn’t making fun of you, I was expressing an interest,” Kokichi said, putting one hand on his hip as he raised a finger in protest. “Besides, think about that pseud for a while.”

Shuuichi indeed did think about the name. It was a weird name for someone who didn’t have frequent contact with a horse or royalty. If Kokichi was telling the truth, why would he choose that name out of—

His last name. His damn last name.

“Your last name means ‘king horse’, right?”

“Bingo!” Kokichi laughed. “My beloved Saihara-chan figured it out again! But class is starting soon, so you’ll have to figure out if I’m lying or not by yourself. Bye!”

“Wait, Ouma-kun, class doesn’t start for another hour!”

But he was already out of the classroom. Shuuichi had no hope of catching up to him at this point, especially since he had a laptop in his arms. He sat back down in his seat in thought.

Kokichi had seemed genuine in his confession, but Shuuichi knew he was a capable liar. As much as he wanted to believe him, he couldn’t be completely sure—wait.

Shuuichi opened his laptop and went back to the scene with the mirror maze. Sure enough, the details ranging from the carnival being dimly lit to even the exact placement of the mirrors matched the Great Mirror Maze Collapse piece by piece. He would have brushed it off as the experience being more universal than he thought, but the replies to his comment told him otherwise.

He scanned the comments, scrolling through every response KingHorse would give to commenters. The text was filled with emoticons and “nishishi”s.

There was only one person in the world who would laugh like that, and that person had just been in the room with him.

Shuuichi’s world collapsed as more and more things started to fall into place.

The sudden friendship that had formed between Tsumugi and Kokichi a few years ago had taken everyone by surprise. But if Kokichi was a writer and Tsumugi was his beta, it would only make sense for them to form some kind of relationship.

Similarly, the friendship between Miu and Kokichi had been less surprising but no less sudden. Analyzing the behavior of the user GreatestInventor and the name was enough for Shuuichi to deduce that Miu was a reader as well. KingHorse’s replies should have told him that the author and Miu were close, but Shuuichi had chosen to ignore that.

More pieces started to connect as he skimmed through the chapters.

The more he analyzed the text, the more the protagonist’s behavior matched Kokichi’s. The constant lies the thief told wasn’t an attempt to add confusion and character development, and neither was the thief’s penchant for pranks. It was an extension of Kokichi’s personality.

And Shuuichi had insulted that.

More panic seized him as he read through his comments. Almost all of them included something about the characterization being awful or questioning if the author even knew the series. The replies telling him to check the author’s profile now made much more sense than it should have. Who would like someone insulting every aspect of their personality? But that being said… If the thief was obviously an insert of Kokichi, who was the detective?

 _I can save that question for later,_ Shuuichi decided, closing his laptop and setting his feelings aside. He put the laptop in his backpack before standing up. He had more pressing matters to attend to.

 

*

 

“How’d it go, Ouma-kun?” Tsumugi asked when she heard the door to her room open, her eyes still glued to her computer.

Kokichi collapsed on her bed and let out a long whine, planting his face into her dark blue blankets.

“So… not too well?”

“Not at all.”

“Understandable.” Tsumugi closed out of her tabs and whirled around to him. “What did he say?”

“He thought I was lying, even when I said you were my beta,” Kokichi said, his voice muffled. “Is it really that hard to believe I’m KingHorse? Is it really hard to believe that I can pump out great masterpieces?”

“You hate your writing. You literally called it more annoying than describing eyes as orbs.”

“Still.”

Tsumugi sighed and sat down on the bed next to him. “As your beta and your friend, it’s kind of understandable why people would think you’re lying. I’m sure you don’t want someone as plain as me telling you this, but—”

Kokichi leaned over and planted his head in her lap, closing his eyes and blindly reaching up to cover her mouth. “Shiro-chan, shut up about being plain. It’s really annoying.”

“But I am.”

“You’re annoying, not plain.”

Tsumugi gave him a long look but continued. “You haven’t expressed any interest in writing or the fandom you’re writing for,” she said, threading her fingers through his hair. “Plus, you always push people away by lying. It’s not surprising to see that no one believes you, not even Saihara-kun. But I really think he’ll come around. You mentioned him being at the top of his class in chapter three, right?”

“But maybe I lied about that. I told you to never trust a liar, Shiro-chan.”

Tsumugi almost rolled her eyes. _Are you seriously trying to run again?_ “Like you said before, you have no reason to lie online if no one in real life knows your identity. I don’t think it’s a lie, is it?”

“Who knows?”

Tsumugi smiled. “... Sure. Who knows?” Her voice took on a teasing lilt. “I bet you wish this was Saihara-kun doing this to you, don’t you?”

“Nope.”

“Liar.”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

They stayed in a companionable silence, Tsumugi humming as her fingers ran through Kokichi’s hair and Kokichi resting his eyes. It was an ordinary, mundane interaction but no less special.

 

*

 

Soft, muffled music could be heard in the hallways near the music room and only grew louder with each step forward. Shuuichi took a deep breath as he stood in front of the door. _Relax, Shuuichi. If you trust her with your life, you can trust her with this._ He twisted the doorknob and entered.

Kaede’s fingers didn’t stop moving across the piano as the door to the music room opened. “Hey, Saihara-kun. What do you need?”

“How did you know it was me?”

“I can smell emo people coming from a mile away,” Kaede said, her eyes taking on a playful twinkle. She stopped playing and scooted over. “Here, come sit next to me.”

Shuuichi hesitated but took a seat next to her. “I… Sorry to bother you, but I need some advice.”

“You can never bother me. As your honorary big sister, you can come to me for anything.” She reached under her seat for her water bottle and gulped it down.

“Even for stuff like love?”

She choked on her drink, coughing and holding a hand to her throat.

“A-Akamatsu-san, are you okay?”

Kaede waved him off and set her water bottle down, nodding. She took a few deep breaths before fully turning to him. “I’m sorry, _what_?”

Shuuichi looked away, heat rising to his cheeks. “Okay, scratch that. Can I just give you a hypothetical situation?”

“Sure, shoot.”

“Let’s say… you’re a big fan of someone’s art. You look at it every day and enjoy it, but you always went on their forums and insulted it. You find out later that someone really dear to you is the artist, and they read your criticism. You didn’t believe them at first until they left and you started to think about it. Now, you think you hurt them. What would you do?”

“... That’s an awfully specific hypothetical situation.”

“I know, I know.”

Kaede looked up in thought. “I think…. I would go apologize and offer to do something for them.”

“What would that be?”

“If I’m reading this situation correctly, I would offer to do something like beta for them.”

Panic seized Shuuichi’s heart. “Wait, how did you—“

“Saihara-kun, do you really think I’m that stupid?” Kaede said, puffing her cheeks out and crossing her arms. “The only visual artist in our class is Angie-san, and you don’t talk to her that often. Plus, I sit behind you in class. I can see you ignoring your work to read KingHorse’s fanfiction.”

“Y-You’ve got that wrong!”

“How so?"

Shuuichi fell silent before sighing. “Okay, fine, you’re completely right.”

Kaede whooped at her victory and fixed a smile on her face. “Now that we know it’s not just hypothetical, tell me what happened.”

Shuuichi explained what had happened, careful to use neutral words to hide KingHorse’s identity. “And that’s pretty much what happened.”

She nodded. “I think I would do the same thing I said before. If you apologize to them and offer to make it up somehow, I’m sure they would forgive you.”

“Are you really sure?”

“I’m sure.” Kaede chuckled and tugged the bill of his cap down. “I can’t believe it! My little Saihara-kun’s in love!”

“I-I’m not in love!” Shuuichi protested, bringing his cap back up.

“Then why are you so willing to drop everything for this person just because you think you hurt them?”

_Shit._

“I rest my case.” Her eyes sparkled. “Well? Who is it? Tell me everything!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you anything without telling you their identity,” Shuuichi said.

“Are they cute? You can at least tell me that, right?”

He looked away, his face heating up again. “... Yeah.”

“Beautiful?”

“Yes.”

“Sexy?”

“Ye—I mean, no! No! I didn’t even think about that!” Shuuichi stuttered out more defenses as Kaede giggled.

“It’s okay if you think so, you know. Nothing wrong with that in teenage boys.”

“... You’re acting like my mom now.”

“Yup, I’m your mom,” Kaede laughed. She plastered a stern look on her face. “Saihara-kun, go clean your room! Do your homework!”

“Yes, Mom,” Shuuichi called, standing up and walking towards the door. “Thanks for the advice, Akamatsu-san.”

“No problem. You know you can come to me for anything, right?”

“Right. Thank you.”

Shuuichi exited and shut the door behind him, gentle music following him into the hall. He thought over the advice as he walked back to his room.

Would Kokichi even accept an apology? Shuuichi couldn’t remember the last time someone needed to apologize to Kokichi for something. It was always the other way around. Of course, Shuuichi knew that he would accept his offer to do something for him like Kaede had suggested. He was just afraid Kokichi would force him to be a dog for the day or something just as ridiculous. But he had to try, at the very least.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and shot someone a text to meet him over the weekend.

 

*

 

“I didn’t get much beauty sleep last night, so you’d better be fun, Saihara-chan. I just might kill you if you aren’t.”

Shuuichi sighed and set his cup of coffee down on the wooden table separating them.

The cafe was much less busier than he thought it would have been, but that didn’t stop his nervousness from peaking. The smooth jazz that played over the speakers only managed to soothe his nerves just enough so he didn’t run out of the store. The only other people in the cafe were the workers behind the counters and a few stray couples filtering in and out of the building.

“You don’t need beauty sleep,” Shuuichi mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Shuuichi cleared his throat. “Do you know why I called you here, Ouma-kun?”

“Ah, yes, because I can read your mind _soooo_ easily,” Kokichi said, sneering. “I have these super awesome mind-reading powers that let me see into anyone’s head with a hundred percent accuracy. They come with the supreme leader package, you know.”

“Okay, I get it, stupid question.”

“Spit it out then. I have better things to be doing.”

Shuuichi took a deep breath and screwed his eyes shut. “I’m… sorry for doubting you about your identity. I didn’t mean to imply that you were incapable, I was just kind of shocked, I guess. Not that that’s any excuse. And I’m sorry for leaving all those horrible comments criticizing your characterization. I should have listened to your other commenters when they told me to stop. I’m really sorry, Ouma-kun.”

“Saihara-chan, look at me.” All traces of playfulness were gone from Kokichi’s voice.

Shuuichi reluctantly opened his eyes, only to see Kokichi staring back at him.

Kokichi’s eyes ran over his face before he broke into a grin. “Aw, do you really think I could be mad at you for that? You’re such an idiot, Saihara-chan.”

“But you—”

“Yeah, I was a little offended, but I wasn’t mad.” Kokichi leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But I still hurt you, didn’t I?” Shuuichi asked. “Please let me make it up to you. Like… your writing’s important to you, right? How can I assist with that? Or would you rather me do something else?”

Kokichi hummed in thought. “Hm… Maybe I should make you my maid or servant. Maybe my royal feetkisser if you’re lucky.”

“Please be serious about this.”

Kokichi fell silent, thinking over his options. Then he looked at Shuuichi with a bright smile that sent Shuuichi’s heart soaring. “Just keep supporting me. You give kudos and write comments for my fics, right? That’s all a writer can really ask for. Well, that or your soul, but I’m not sure I want it.”

“Am… Am I supposed to be offended by that?” Shuuichi asked as soon as his heart recovered.

“Let’s keep this a secret between us,” Kokichi said, ignoring his question and holding a finger to his smirk. “Shiro-chan and Iruma-chan are the only ones who know my identity. If you tell anyone else, I’ll be forced to kill you.”

Shuuichi gulped and nodded. Even if he knew he was exaggerating, the threat was just as serious.

“Anyway, what are we doing next on our date?”

Shuuichi’s eyes widened, and his face grew red. “D-Date?”

“Yeah, date. Are you telling me you woke me up early on the weekend just so I can have a five-minute talk with you?” Kokichi crossed his arms, giving Shuuichi the angriest pout he could muster. “That’s so rude! How dare you wake me up this early?”

“It’s nine in the morning.”

“Still.”

“It can…” Shuuichi sighed. “It can be a date if you really want it to be.”

“Then you don’t mind paying for me?”

“That’s not what I—”

“Thanks, Saihara-chan!” Kokichi snatched Shuuichi’s wallet off the table and skipped to the counter to order more coffee.

Shuuichi stood up and reached out, but it was too late. He sat back down with a resigned sigh.

Even if he had his wallet stolen temporarily, he was glad he had made the choice to confront Kokichi. There was still one thing he wanted to confirm, but Kokichi didn’t seem to take serious discussions well. Shuuichi would have to wait for another opportunity.

 _That’s fine with me,_ Shuuichi thought, smiling as Kokichi returned to their table with two cups of coffee and a grin that could light up even the darkest nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhh that hibachi scene actually happened a few weeks ago. not the indirect kiss but the chef actually juggled his tools and tossed eggs at us. he actually pointed a canister of ketchup at us and shot it but a joke string popped out instead of actual sauce. it was great. loved that guy. but the great mirror maze collapse didn't happen. thank god. i would have cried if a mirror fell on me
> 
> (guys i love indirect kisses so much im sorry i swear this is the last time)
> 
> again, please let me know if you have any questions!


	3. Point of View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to my irl friend for looking over this chapter and tolerating my screaming.

Knowing about Kokichi’s online identity also meant that Shuuichi was dragged into being part of Kokichi’s writing support group (or the Shitty Virgins Club, as Miu had called it despite being part of it herself), but that probably wasn’t the best idea. That was evident from taking one look at the bags under Tsumugi’s eyes and the way her entire body drooped like a wilted flower.

“Shirogane-san, do you need any help?” Shuuichi asked, standing up from his chair.

Tsumugi shook her head and waved him off, leaning against the counter as she waited for the coffee to finish brewing. 

The communal kitchen in their dorms was a contentious area, so Shuuichi usually tried his best to avoid it. That being said, he could see the appeal in hanging around the kitchen. The room always felt a bit warmer than the rest of the building, as if a giant blanket held the warm air in. The whirring of the machines ensured that a moment of dead silence could never be achieved, and they were all that was left at this time of night.

Finally, the coffee machine finished brewing. Tsumugi took the pot from underneath and poured the coffee into two cups, one blue and one purple. She took a milk carton out of the refrigerator and added it to the purple cup. With a sigh, she ripped five sugar packets and dropped them in the purple cup. She tossed the empty packets in the trash can.

Shuuichi flinched at the loud smack of the trash can closing. “May I ask why you’re making coffee at two in the morning?”

“Ouma-kun burned himself out trying to finish the last chapter,” Tsumugi said. She looked down at the two cups of coffee in her hands. “And I burned myself out trying to keep him alive.”

“Um… Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. This happens all the time. I actually got sick a few months ago, and Ouma-kun had to take care of me.” She smiled. “It turned out better than I thought it would have. Apparently he has a bunch of random knowledge from writing sickfics under another pseud.”

Kokichi writing sickfics? Kokichi writing fluff in general? Shuuichi couldn’t imagine such a thing happening, but he nodded along anyway. “So why did you need me here?”

Tsumugi held the purple cup out. “Can you just give one of these to him? I’m not going to fuel his Panta addiction. Not again.”

“Oh, uh… sure?” Shuuichi took the cup.

Tsumugi downed her drink so quickly that the coffee was gone in a blink of the eye. She put the cup in the sink and walked back to her room..

_ Is being a writer and beta reader really that much work? Don’t you just put words on a page?  _ Shuuichi thought before knocking on Kokichi’s door. “Ouma-kun, are you there?”

A few seconds passed before the door opened to a tired Kokichi, and Shuuichi’s previous thoughts were tossed out. He rubbed his bloodshot eyes and yawned before fixing a grin on his face. “Oh, it’s my beloved Saihara-chan! What could you want from me on this beautiful day?”

“It’s not even day yet. Did you sleep at all?”

“Nope! Updates don’t write themselves.”

Shuuichi sighed and shook his head. It hurt to look at Kokichi obviously not taking care of himself. “Anyway, Shirogane-san told me to give this to you.”

Kokichi snatched the drink out of his hands with a thirst he had never seen before. “Ooh, is this coffee? Tell her I said thanks.” He moved to slam the door back shut.

“Wait, Ouma-kun.”

Kokichi turned back around, tilting his head. “Yes?”

“Just…” Shuuichi clenched his fists. “Just remember to take care of yourself, okay? You’re a human first and writer second.”

He stayed silent, allowing Shuuichi to continue.

“As much as we love your updates, it wouldn’t be fair fo you to have to sabotage yourself in real life just so we can have a chapter a few days early. I’m sure I’m speaking for all of us readers when I say we can wait a bit longer. So please take care of yourself.”

Kokichi stared at him before breaking into a fit of laughter. He grinned and pinched Shuuichi’s cheek. “Aw, you’re so cute, Saihara-chan. You think I’m neglecting myself just for my readers?”

Shuuichi took a step back from the contact. “But you have—“

“Bags under my eyes? I used makeup to put it there. Being around Shiro-chan and Amami-chan really taught me a few things about makeup.” He looked to his side, down at the hand not carrying coffee. “But since you’re soooo insistent on it, I _guess_ I can sleep just a bit more.”

“That’s all I wanted. Thank you.”

“Jeez, you don’t have to be so formal with me, you know. We’re friends.”

Shuuichi swallowed and nodded. “Right. Friends.”  _ And nothing more. _

“Anyway, I’ll see you later,” Kokichi said. He waved and closed the door.

Shuuichi hesitated before returning to his own room and bringing a hand to his cheek. He had hoped he could have done more for Kokichi, but he knew this was the best he could have done for now. He logged onto his computer and checked his email, only to see an update from KingHorse.

_ But wasn’t he just…? Nevermind.  _

Shuuichi clicked on the link leading back to the fic, taking his chance to conduct more research. He chuckled at the chapter beginning with an all too familiar hibachi restaurant scene.

 

*

 

Kokichi had never signed up to be part of the Protect Shuuichi Squad, but here he was in Shuuichi’s room, trying to comfort him after a particularly angsty scene. “Relax, Saihara-chan, it’ll be okay. It’s tagged as angst with a happy ending.”

“I can’t believe you would just end it on a sad cliffhanger like that,” Shuuichi mumbled, lying on the floor of his dorm. “Why would you do that to them?”

Kokichi bit back a sigh. He had been equal parts excited and scared when Shuuichi had suddenly pulled him into his room, but his excitement had morphed into pity somewhere between when Tsumugi had texted him orders to get Shuuichi to sleep with the threat of sending him screenshots of his old writing and now. “Angst was literally one of the tags. What were you expecting?”

“Not  _ that _ .”

“Well, I’ve got an evil supreme leader reputation to hold up, so suck it up.” He paused. “That and Shiro-chan would kick my ass if she found out I let you just wallow on your floor all night, so let’s get you to bed.” Kokichi leaned down to scoop Shuuichi up from the floor. He had managed to hold him in an awkward half-hug before Shuuichi spoke again.

“You know, as much as I complain about it, that confession scene at the end of the chapter was really well-written.”

Kokichi’s heart swelled at the compliment. A smile made its way to his face. “Aw, thanks, Saihara-chan! Now if only your comments were nicer.”

“It’s detailed. Too detailed,” Shuuichi said, “It’s almost like you’ve experienced it or something.”

_ Nope, just spent way too much time fantasizing about it,  _ Kokichi corrected in his thoughts. He held a finger to Shuuichi’s lips, and briefly noted that they were soft before pushing the thought away. “Shhh. Let’s have this conversation when you’re actually sober, okay?”

“I’m not drunk. We’re not even old enough to drink.”

_ There’s my chance! Distract him!  _ Kokichi leaned in. He smirked upon seeing Shuuichi’s face redden and whispered, “You’re drunk on  _ me _ .”

A few seconds of silence passed before Shuuichi burst into a fit of laughter, dropping out of Kokichi’s grip and onto the floor.

Kokichi’s face went blank as his own cheeks reddened. Now probably wasn’t the best time to realize that Shuuichi’s laughter sounded like music to his ears.

“I-I’m sorry, Ouma-kun, but that was the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard,” Shuuichi said once his fit died down. 

Kokichi pouted as tears welled up in his eyes. “Are you making fun of me? But I spent so much time on that line!” He faced away and took a step towards the door. “Shiro-chaaaan! Saihara-chan’s bullying me!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. It’s midnight, quiet down,” Shuuichi said, standing up. He flinched when something in his back cracked. 

“That’s what you get for bullying me,” Kokichi huffed. “Now go to bed already.”

“You have to promise me that you’ll talk to me about your last chapter first.”

“No.”

“Please?”

Kokichi opened his mouth to repeat his previous answer, only to be hypnotized by Shuuichi’s wide, golden eyes. The longer he stared, the more entranced he found himself and the deeper he dropped into the pit of love.

“... Ouma-kun?”

Kokichi snapped out of his trance and turned away, urging his blush away. He could always lie his way out of giving any serious answer, right? “Fine. But you’d better make it interesting.”

“I promise it’ll be more interesting than our last discussion.”

“Determined, aren’t you? I’m holding you to that, Saihara-chan. If you don’t meet my standards, I’ll have to get one of my lackeys to slit your throat while you sleep.”

“Didn’t you come here to get me to sleep?”

“Yup! Goodnight, Saihara-chan!” Kokichi pushed Shuuichi onto his bed before rushing out of the room, not risking a look back to check if Shuuichi was actually going to sleep. Once the door slammed shut, he held a hand to his heart and sighed.

That had been more exciting than anything else that had happened that month. But over his years of writing, he had learned that exciting didn’t always mean good. That lesson was never more obvious until now.

Were the hints he had put in the last chapter too obvious? Was the characterization too familiar? Did Shuuichi finally figure it out?

Kokichi groaned and returned to his own dorm for the night, his head swimming with thoughts and possible revisions. He sat at his desk and stared at the glaring bright screen he had grown accustomed to, even in the darkness he surrounded himself with. And just for a few minutes, he was pulled out of reality and into the fantasy world he had painstakingly created.

Still, he dreaded tomorrow.

 

*

 

The perfect setting for a serious conversation was obviously at a busy restaurant where anyone could overhear, including a classmate if one happened to walk in. There totally weren’t better places like their dorms or even the library to discuss it.

Kokichi sometimes wondered about Shuuichi’s mental state, but he waved the thought away as he finished ordering from a menu. He looked back up at Shuuichi with a grin. “So, my beloved Saihara-chan, is this another date?”

“Unfortunately not,” Shuuichi said, “You’re not going to get me off-topic this time, Ouma-kun. I can promise this will be fun.”

Kokichi’s heart skipped a beat at the twinkle of determination in his eyes, but he hid it with a bored frown. “Hm, whatever. Just skip the boring monologue.” He craned his head up. “Wait, don’t tell me you had one planned.”

Shuuichi looked away, a light pink tint on his face.

“Saihara-chan.”

“Fine, I guess I can skip that,” Shuuichi said with a sigh. “The gist of it is that I’ve been reading your fics for a while, and—”

“Wow, Saihara-chan’s such a dedicated fan!” Kokichi grinned. “Maybe I should reward him with a kiss.”

“S-Stop trying to go off-topic.” Shuuichi’s composure had dropped for a few seconds before he cleared his throat. “Anyway, I know that the main character is you.”

Nothing he hasn’t heard before. Kokichi deflected the accusation and looked down at his fingernails. “I thought detectives didn’t make baseless claims like that.”

“I can prove it.”

Kokichi leaned forward to listen, only to hear the same evidence he had heard from Tsumugi. He rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright, I get it. You think I wrote a self-insert. Didn’t you promise this would be fun?”

“Not so fast. The only other OOC character is the detective, who’s supposed to be the main love interest.”

Kokichi’s blood ran cold as Shuuichi explained his thinking process.

“The background characters are in character, as far as I can tell,” Shuuichi said, “A few of the background characters are just as complex as the thief and detective, so I know you’re capable of keeping everyone true to themselves. You’re the kind of person that would be meticulous with that kind of stuff, right?”

Kokichi only raised an eyebrow in response.

“... I’m taking that as a yes. And like I said before, the way you describe love is both beautiful and heartbreaking. It’s the kind of description that can only be achieved through intense research or real life. I asked Shirogane-san and Iruma-san the other day, and you don’t seem like the type who would want to pour hours of research into something like love.”

“You did  _ what _ ?”

“Uh… forget that. I think the only question I can ask is…” Shuuichi fixed a gentle smile on his face. “Ouma-kun, are you in love?”

Kokichi’s entire case may have been destroyed, but there was no way he was giving up now. “What? No wayyy! Love is such a waste of time.” He stuck his tongue out for emphasis.

“Yet you choose to write about it.”

“So? I just wanted to branch out a little bit.”

“Maybe so, but it makes more sense this way. Twisting the characterizations of only two people to fit you and your crush fits better than you just wanting to write romance. Your writing dominates the crime and mystery section of the fandom, so writing romance is unnecessary for more attention. So let me ask you again, Ouma-kun. Are you in love?” Judging by the victorious smirk on his face, Shuuichi already had his answer. There was no use lying anymore.

Great. Here came the rejection.

Kokichi’s grin widened in an effort to hide his inner turmoil. “Looks like you’ve got that right, Saihara-chan! Smart, aren’t you? But if you tell anyone this, I’ll kill you.”

“I have no doubts about that.” Shuuichi chuckled and smiled. “That person is really lucky, you know.”

Kokichi froze. A plot twist without any foreshadowing?

“You have a really beautiful way of looking at things, Ouma-kun. And the way you talk about love, it makes sense now. Whoever you love must be really lucky to have someone who sees them like this."

Kokichi narrowed his eyes, split between reveling in the praise and slapping some sense into him.  _ Oh my god. Is he actually stupid or am I just that good at lying?  _ But no matter. It had worked out in his favor. “Worst detective ever,” Kokichi grumbled under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. Thanks, I guess.”

“Although, uh…” Shuuichi’s fists clenched. “Can… Can I take a few guesses as to who it is?”

Kokichi folded his arms behind his head and grinned. “Sure! But there’s no guarantee if it’s a lie, so be careful~!”

“Of course. Is it… Shirogane-san?”

“Shiro-chan? I don’t know, she’s really pretty.”

Shuuichi bit his lip. “I see. Is she—”

“That was a lie, idiot. She’s my best friend, but I wouldn’t date her. Keep going.”

“Akamatsu-san?”

“Nope.”

“Then Iruma-san?”

“I’d actually rather die.” Kokichi leaned forward with a pout. “Where are you getting these guesses from?”

Shuuichi tilted his head. “They’re the people you spend the most time with, right?”

“Yeah, but spending time with them doesn’t mean I want to date them, and I don’t even spend that much time around Akamatsu-chan. Here, I’ll give you a hint.” Kokichi stood up from his seat and leaned in with wide eyes, forcing Shuuichi back in his seat. “I’m  _ gaayyyy. _ Gay as hell. I’m gayer than the entire school combined. I suck dic—“

“Okay, I get it!” Shuuichi said with his eyes scrunched shut, pushing him back.

Kokichi landed in his seat with a grin.

“Then is it… Amami-kun?”

“Nope. He’s pretty and all, but I wouldn’t fuck him.”

Shuuichi’s face heated up. “Do you really have to phrase it like that?”

“Being around a whore like Iruma-chan really does things to your vocabulary,” Kokichi said, holding a finger up. 

Shuuichi sighed and stayed silent until the waiter finished passing out their meals. He broke his wooden chopsticks in half. “I’m surprised you two of all people would be friends. Is she your beta reader like Shirogane-san?”

“Oh, hell no. She’s useless in writing. I’m looking for a beta for my grammar and spelling since Shiro-chan’s hopeless at that, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone worthy.”

“How does your beta process usually work?”

Kokichi leaned back in his seat. “I write the first, second, third, maybe fourth drafts and really refine it before sending it off to Shiro-chan. She makes her suggestions, and I take them to revise the draft again. We both check it for grammar mistakes before posting it.”

“I thought she always complained about being your beta reader.”

“Yeah, sometimes I send her my first draft as a joke. She’ll return it with really stupid edits like ‘remove bears from stage’ or something like that.”

“... It might be presumptuous of me to ask, but…” Shuuichi gulped and faced him. “Would a ninety-nine average in language arts be worthy?”

Kokichi readied a cheerful “Nope!” for his answer but froze upon meeting Shuuichi’s eyes. His years of lying had granted with the ability to see through other liars, and he made deductions based on body language and more importantly, eyes. The golden eyes staring back at him were filled with nothing but pure hope and determination, care and consideration. There was no trace of the ugly lying he had grown so used to. 

… Maybe it was time to take on a beta reader who didn’t blackmail him into it. 

Kokichi fixed a grin on his face, steadying himself for what was about to come. “No, they have to speak ten languages, have a PhD, and have five dogs. But since I love you so much, I guess I’ll be willing to take you on as my beta.”

“Really? Thank you so much! It would be an honor.”

Kokichi fought down a blush at Shuuichi’s bright smile and nodded. There was no turning back now.

After their meeting, Kokichi waited until Shuuichi walked out of vision to tap on a number and bring his phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Shiro-chan. I fucked up.”

 

*

 

Kokichi explained what had just happened, awaiting Tsumugi’s reaction.

“... Ouma-kun, I love you. You’re my best friend. You’re one of the best fanfic writers I’ve ever seen, and it’s been a pleasure being your beta. But what the actual hell were you thinking?”

“I know, I know. That’s why I started the call admitting my fuckup. That’s gotta count for some character development points, right?”

“This isn’t just a fuckup, Ouma-kun. This is like accidentally posting the wrong chapter. No, this is ‘posting the wrong chapter on the wrong story’ level of fuckup.”

“It can’t be  _ that  _ bad.”

“You’re sending your draft to him after my edits. What if I miss editing a detail that would reveal the detective’s identity? Saihara-kun may be dense, but he isn’t stupid.”

Kokichi stayed silent.

“... Okay, maybe a little stupid, but I’m pretty sure he can figure it out.”

“Then I’ll just have to be a bit more careful from now on. It’s not that hard.”

“Well… alright.” She sighed. “I’ll do my best as well. Please be careful.”

Kokichi’s face broke into a grin. “Aww, do you care that much about me, Shiro-chan? That’s soooo sweet!”

Tsumugi hung up.

 

*

 

Now he knew why writers and beta readers were so exhausted all the time.

Shuuichi chugged his last cup of coffee as he painstakingly went over the manuscript one more time, running it through both the online grammar checker and using his own knowledge. Once he ensured he had combed through all the mistakes, he sent the draft back to Kokichi.

He leaned back in his chair, stretching out his aching back and closing his burning eyes. Was he really willing to do this all over again?

His phone buzzed next to him. He grabbed it and looked at the screen.

**OK:** heyyyy saihara-chan!!! 

Shuuichi found himself smiling at the simple text. His thumbs hovered over the screen to text back, but all the words had been drained out of him by the editing.

_ What have I gotten myself into? _

 

*

 

Their interactions were actually painful to watch.

“And it’s like, fuck you, you know? Who the hell thought it was a good idea to make running a thing? That’s it. I’m gonna build a machine that lets you run in your sleep.”

Tsumugi nodded along to Miu’s words but found her gaze drifting to where Kokichi and Shuuichi sat together for lunch.

“And this is a present for my beloved beta reader,” Kokichi said before sliding a lunchbox to Shuuichi. “Just kidding! Shiro-chan made me an extra lunch, so I guess I can share one with you.”

“H-Huh? Is it really okay for me to take this?” Shuuichi asked.

Kokichi dismissed him with a wave. “Of course, you’re part of the group now. You didn’t bring lunch either, and we can’t afford to have our grammar beta out.”

_ Fucking liar,  _ Tsumugi thought bitterly. She had no memory of ever making food for anyone but herself. In fact, she could distinctly remember catching Kokichi in the kitchen frantically preparing two lunchboxes at four in the morning. She supposed it wasn’t a complete lie since she had to help him with the stove, but that was still lying by omission. 

“Are you really sure?”

Kokichi answered by taking his own chopsticks, picking up a rice ball, and pushing it into Shuuichi’s mouth.

“Whatcha looking at, Tittygane?” Miu finally caught her gaze and turned around to where Tsumugi had been looking. She licked her lips. “Damn, I didn’t know Suckhara could cook.”

“Actually, Ouma-kun gave it to him,” Tsumugi blurted.

“What?”

Tsumugi winced at the volume of her voice, but there was no turning back now. “Ouma-kun made the meal for him. Didn’t you notice they were friends?”

Miu snickered and cupped her hands together on the sides of her mouth. “Hey, Twinkma! Suckhara! When’s the damn wedding date? You guys know how to use a vibrator yet?”

Shuuichi’s face lit up red, and Kokichi scowled. “Shut the fuck up, you ignorant cockslut!”

_ But he didn’t deny it,  _ Tsumugi mused. She sighed upon seeing the look of bliss on Miu’s face. 

“Did you really have to yell at her like that?” Shuuichi mumbled, ducking his head.

Kokichi turned to grin at him. “Only the best for my beloved Saihara-chan!”

Shuuichi may have assumed it was a lie, but Tsumugi knew better. She sighed again and picked up her chopsticks. “Iruma-san, do you know what you’ve interrupted?”

Miu only shrugged before taking a sip from her water bottle.

 

*

 

Kaede knew nothing good came from staying up too late, but she chose to do it anyway. She shut her phone off and rubbed her eyes.

The eleventh chapter of  _ A Phantom Thief  _ had been… interesting. With every word, it became clearer and clearer that the two main characters reminded her of two people in her class, but who? How could she not know? Wasn’t she the class representative for a reason?

She would have continued scolding herself further had a memory from a few weeks ago not resurfaced.

Shuuichi had seemed… troubled when he came to her for advice. It was like he was struggling with something much deeper than just figuring out how to apologize. Or maybe he was just that distressed. He must have really cared for that person if he was that concerned about him accidentally hurting them.

Kaede smiled. At least her best friend was learning to speak up for himself. With that, she rolled over and curled up in her blankets before realizing something.

_ Wait a minute… That detective in the story sounds a lot like Saihara-kun… _

She groaned and tugged the blankets closer to her.

There’s no way that could be it. She knew the writer was someone in her class from the way Shuuichi described his situation, but she couldn’t believe someone had deliberately written him into the story as the love interest. There was no possibility of that.

… Was there?

 

*

 

Rantarou’s eyes burned watching them dance around each other.

“Ouma-kun, are you cold?”

Kokichi turned to the person accompanying him with a bright grin that seemed par for the course to Rantarou, but if he knew anything about cliches, it probably melted Shuuichi’s heart. “Of course not, Saihara-chan! Do you really think I’m that weak?”

Shuuichi frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. “But you’re shivering.”

“Super acting skills, duh.”

Shuuichi paused. He seemed to be in thought before he took his jacket off and put it around Kokichi’s shoulders. “Here. You need it more than I do.”

Even from ten feet behind them, Rantarou could tell that Kokichi’s breath hitched at the contact. Kokichi turned to Shuuichi with a teasing smirk. “Aww, Saihara-chan must really love me if he lets me wear his jacket. Aren’t you gonna freeze? What were you thinking?”

“I-It’s not a problem, really,” Shuuichi said through chattering teeth as if he could get away with telling such an atrocious lie.

Kokichi thought for a moment before pressing his side against Shuuichi. “Writers have to take care of their betas, you know. It’s irresponsible otherwise.”

Shuuichi looked away with a red face but leaned into the touch.

Were they really that sweet this early in the damn morning? They weren’t even at school yet!

“Good morning, Amami-kun,” Korekiyo said, catching up next to Rantarou. He took one look at his face and asked, “Are you feeling troubled?”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling, but if they don’t just admit their feelings right now, they’re gonna be catching some hands.”

“Ah, so you’ve noticed as well.” Korekiyo’s gaze rested on Kokichi and Shuuichi. “Isn’t human love beautiful?”

Rantarou hummed in thought. “I guess it can be. Just not here.” He grimaced when the pair’s fingers brushed together.

“You look like you would rather be anywhere else.”

“I’m dying, Shinguuji-kun.”

“I’m aware.”

“You don’t have to be friends with them. I love them, but sometimes I wonder.”

“I’m aware.”

“You don’t have to suffer like I do.”

“I know, and I apologize,” Korekiyo said, but it was clear he didn’t mean it. “Love is a beautiful concept. The origins of love are most likely connected with the origins of humanity itself, but there are some speculations as to how the modern concept of love was created.

Rantarou nodded along, tuning the words out. In any other situation, he would be listening and adding his thoughts whenever appropriate, but this was one of the most infuriating scenarios life had ever placed him in. He took a deep breath in preparation for the day that was to come.

 

*

 

Relationships were never Miu’s area of expertise, but she liked to think she was smart enough to understand them. That being said, she had no idea what her friend was doing or thinking.

A flash of purple zipped across the street through heavy traffic, gripping a small white umbrella as cars honked at him. “Saihara-chan!”

Shuuichi looked up from his struggle to hold his backpack over his head in the pouring rain. “Ouma-kun? Shouldn’t you be at school already?”

Kokichi ignored his question. “Did you forget your umbrella? The news said it would be pouring rain all day.”

“I know, I know. I just didn’t think it would be raining this much.”

“Lucky for you, I happened to be passing by.” Kokichi held his umbrella over both of them and held his hand out with a grin. “Let’s walk to school together, okay?”

Shuuichi stared at the hand before accepting it with a warm smile.

The two walked away, their fingers brushing against each other as they navigated under the stormy gray skies.

Miu snorted and rolled her eyes. She knew for a fact that if she was in that situation, Kokichi would have snapped a picture of her struggle and mocked her in the group chat or at least have ran away after helping her up, and she knew she would have done the exact same thing. That was just how their friendship worked.

But with Shuuichi...? What happened?

Miu was a scientist at heart; She couldn’t deny evidence right in front of her eyes. Analyzing it, however, was a different story. 

Why had Kokichi been willing to drop everything just because someone was stuck in the rain? Why did he lie to make it seem like he hadn’t been diverted from his original path? Was it because of Shuuichi or was it another factor?

Miu rubbed her eyes and tightened her grip on her umbrella. She couldn’t be distracted by that shitty brat. She had better things to do.

So she plugged her earbuds back in and continued walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "writers, take care of yourself first! dont neglect yourself!" i say as i continue to neglect myself (dw im fine)
> 
> shuuichi becomes less stupid in the next chapter i swear. just slightly.
> 
> please let me know if you have any questions.


	4. Angst

Kokichi stared at his computer, his eyes bloodshot and unblinking as he scanned the words on the page for what seemed like the hundredth time. After he reached the end of the chapter, he glanced down at the bottom right side of his screen.

3 AM. He had stayed up too long again.

Kokichi picked up his phone and cringed at the explosion of texts from Tsumugi and… Shuuichi? He smiled at the reminder and promptly tossed his phone back on the table, ignoring the texts in favor of setting his eyes back on his document.

Was it good enough? Was the foreshadowing too obvious? Alternatively, was the foreshadowing too subtle? Would his readers be disappointed? Maybe he should read it over one more time just to be sure…

Ah, fuck it.

Kokichi copied the entire document and pasted it into AO3. He filled out the chapter notes, being sure to thank both Tsumugi and Shuuichi, though he made sure to keep Shuuichi’s identity more secret. After fixing the tags to reflect the new chapter and previewing the format, his mouse hovered over the post button, and he froze, all his doubts and fears hitting him at once.

What would his readers think of it? Would they be frustrated at the lack of romance? Would they try speculating who the detective was again?

Kokichi opened another tab and opened his comments, only to see that someone had created a thread theorizing on the topic again.

 

_Guest_  
_Sooo we’re just gonna ignore the fact  
that this is obviously a self-insert?_

_Basic_  
_I mean we cant really tell bc we dont_  
_know who the detective is. Theres a page_  
 _on fanlore called Love Across The_  
_Universe dedicated to it if you want  
more information_

 

It happened every chapter and he tried his best to ignore it, but now that the detective was actually on his team…

Well, at least something interesting was finally happening.

Kokichi hesitated before canceling his draft and setting his hands on the keyboard, preparing for another round of editing and feedback.

 

*

 

Kokichi liked to think that he had a wide variety of writing experience under his belt. As much as he hated to remember it, he remembered the dark, edgy poetry he wrote and kept hidden away in a part of his computer he longed to burn. He counted his blessings that he had never posted them, but he couldn’t say the same for his longfics, all of which had more holes in them than Swiss cheese. But he had improved bit by bit over the years, his works ranging from one hundred to one hundred thousand words long. Those works covered almost every genre he could think of: fluff, angst, tragedy, humor, drama, and so much more. He was proud of his work.

Despite that, Kokichi had never thought he would actually live out a scene from his own fanfiction.

Kokichi squinted and leaned over the desk separating him and Shuuichi. “So let me get this straight. You want to help me... by investigating if my crush likes me back?”

Shuuichi answered with a nod. “If you’ll let me.”

The situation was too stereotypical, too cliched. He could even recognize the scene from a fluffy one-shot he had written around two years ago.

That pair had gotten a happy ending. Kokichi wasn’t sure he even deserved one.

“But why?”

For a split second, Shuuichi’s face tensed. It was almost as if he was forcing the words out. “Because you’re my friend,” he said, “And I want you to be happy. A way I thought I could do that is by doing investigating for you.”

That was the most ridiculous thing Kokichi had ever heard. All of his assistance had come from either blackmailing or being blackmailed (Come to think of it, everyone in his unofficial writing support group had blackmailed him into letting them join, even if he had technically blackmailed himself one time. He made another mental note to reinforce his security). There had to be a motive behind it. There always was.

“That’s such a boring reason,” Kokichi whined. “What do you want, Saihara-chan? Power? Fame? Wait, wait, don’t tell me!” He leaned forward with sparkling eyes. “You’re _totally_ in love with me, right?”

“H-Huh? Ouma-kun, you can’t joke around like that!” Shuuichi said, hiding his red face under his hat.

“Am I right or am I right?”

“Neither.”

Huh. Somehow, that felt like a lie.

Kokichi swept it aside as Shuuichi explained his thinking process. Despite that, he was only half-listening.

How could someone so smart be so blind? Kokichi had spent his fair share of time in the pining tag of his fandom and even wrote some under another pseudonym, but at least the characters in his fics had common sense. Was Shuuichi just lacking in common sense? Was that it?

… Or maybe he just didn’t want to see it?

Kokichi’s blood ran cold, and his grin flickered. That last option seemed much more likely than the fantasy he had been crafting for the past year. His recent chapters had been more obvious about who the detective was based on, and Shuuichi was smart enough to piece the puzzle together. The only possible explanation for his behavior was if he didn’t want to believe that Kokichi liked him.

“... Ouma-kun? Were you listening to me at all?”

Kokichi snapped out of his thoughts and fixed a smile on his face. “Yup! You shouldn’t doubt your friends, Saihara-chan. That’s mean.”

Shuuichi gave him a dubious stare. “Then what did I just say?”

“You’re seriously gonna use that line on me? What are you, a teacher?” Kokichi sighed. “Anyway, you can do whatever you want. It’s not like I can stop you.”

“Really?”

“Just know this,” Kokichi said, his smile fading. “Fandom doesn’t run solely on the content creators like writers, artists, or whatever. It’s the people who read our fanfiction, look at our art, laugh at our edits, consume the content we’re creating… they matter, too. Fandom is a self-sustaining system, and that’s what makes it so enjoyable. I can’t stop you from doing anything, but keep that in mind. You don’t need to do any special favors to earn a place in fandom.” He slung his backpack on his shoulder before walking out of the classroom in what he hoped was a dramatic fashion. If all went well, that would deter Shuuichi from trying to investigate.

But one annoying sliver of hope remained that Shuuichi was truly just that oblivious and meant no harm, that Shuuichi wanted to believe that he was the detective just as much as Kokichi’s readers wanted to believe in the love between the detective and the thief.

Kokichi pushed the thought away for another time when he skipped into the commons and pushed Miu’s head into her cereal, receiving a slew of curses and insults in return.

“What the hell, you god damn gremlin?” Miu spat as she wiped her napkin over her face. “You can’t just do that to food like some kind of fucking virgin!”

“What relation does virginity have to food?”

Miu opened her mouth to explain but stopped, instead narrowing her eyes and leaning forward. “You look like someone took a shit on your face and poked it into your face holes. What’s up?”

“Like a dumb blonde bitch like you would understand,” Kokichi scoffed. “Stop trying and just go back to sucking dicks like the slut you are.”

Miu let out a moan just as Tsumugi entered the commons and gave her a disapproving look. Tsumugi’s glare moved to him.

“It’s way too early in the morning for this,” Tsumugi grumbled, rubbing her eyes. She took a seat next to Miu and narrowed her eyes at Kokichi. “Hey, Ouma-kun, you look like you’re about to cry.”

Kokichi tilted his head and stretched his grin wider across his face. “Huh? Then you must be really blind. Are you sure you don’t need new glasses, Shiro-chan?”

“Kyahaha! Remember when Shittygane damn near ran into a telephone pole and mistook it for Kiibo?” Miu asked, cackling.

Kokichi burst into laughter as Tsumugi struggled to defend herself, but the persistent worrying stares from his best friends didn’t leave.

 

*

 

The draft Kokichi had sent to her was ten thousand words of pure angst. The word “angst” wasn’t even sufficient enough to describe the text Tsumugi had just read. A whole new word needed to be created to describe it, but that wasn’t her job. No, her job was to stand in front of the author’s door with her laptop tucked underneath her arm, her fist knocking on the door rapidly for two minutes straight.

Finally, the door opened, revealing an unblinking Kokichi.

Tsumugi almost knocked on his forehead before pushing her way into his room. “So I read through the draft you sent me.”

Kokichi plastered a grin on his face and shut the door, making sure to lock it. “What about it, my beloved beta reader? Would you prefer to flame me in real life?”

“There’s… a lot of angst in this chapter.”

“I’m aware. I wrote it, after all.”

Tsumugi bit her lip, examining his face. The bags under his eyes were only partially covered up by makeup. He probably hadn’t had time to fix it since Tsumugi hadn’t given him a warning before she dropped by like she usually did. His bedsheets were ruffled, and papers were scattered over his blankets. His computer’s screeches concealed the silence between them. Empty Panta cans and wrappers overflowed in his trash can. It was clear he hadn’t been taking as good care of himself as she would have liked him to.

Her gaze flickered back Kokichi, who stared at her with a strained smile. After years of spending time with him, she knew exactly what that smile meant.

_I know what you’re thinking, and whatever I’m doing is not up for negotiation._

Tsumugi swallowed hard. She had interfered enough already, and it was clear that she had to drag Kokichi screaming and crying if she wanted more information out of that.

And if there was one expression Tsumugi never wanted to see on her best friend’s face, it was genuine, miserable crying.

“The pacing’s a little bit off,” Tsumugi finally said. She took note of the way Kokichi’s shoulders relaxed upon hearing her words. “You’ve already inserted enough angst into the previous chapter, and your readers yelled at you for it. I understand wanting to keep ripping their hearts out, but you should probably give them a little breather after almost major character death. That’s just my opinion, though. You know the story better than I do.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes. I’ll even help you with it.” Tsumugi offered him a warm smile and held her hand out. “Let’s edit the angst out together, Ouma-kun. As your beta and your friend.”

Two pairs of eyes, one blue and one purple, stared into each other before Kokichi accepted the hand and sat down on the bed next to her.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“I don’t know what you’re thanking me for. It’s my duty as your beta.”

That was bullshit and both of them knew it, but they were happy leaving it at that as they combed through the text together.

 

*

 

Shuuichi found him sitting in the dining room, his head craned down to face the book planted in his lap. “Hey, Amami-kun, can I bother you for a bit?”

Rantarou looked up and slid a bookmark in between the pages of his book with a smile. “Sure. What’s bothering you? Grades? Stress? Love?”

“Yeah, it’s… it’s that last one,” Shuuichi said. He paused. “Kind of. It’s on unrequited love.”

Rantarou’s smile twitched. He took a deep breath as if he was bracing himself for something. “You wanna tell me about it?”

Shuuichi opened his mouth, only to find himself at a loss for words. His head swirled as details about the detective in _A Phantom Thief_ refused to match with the characteristics of any person he had met in real life. His heart hurt when he took the initiative of investigating Kokichi’s crush, but he told himself that it was for the greater good, that he didn’t need his feelings to be returned. While Shuuichi knew he would be happy if Kokichi was happy, he would be lying if he said it didn’t break his heart every time he thought about it.

“Hello? Earth to Saihara-kun?”

“H-Huh?” Shuuichi snapped out of his thoughts. “Oh, sorry. It’s just… I have a crush on someone, but they probably don’t like me back. How would you deal with that?”

The light died out of Rantarou’s eyes for a split second before returning. He leaned back against the bench. “Unrequited love is tricky. I think I’m going to need a little more context.”

“Oh, um…” Shuuichi gathered his thoughts together, careful to not reveal too much detail. “They’re my friend, and I beta grammar for them. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, so how would I get over them?”

“Wouldn’t you need closure first? You never know if they like you back or not.”

“I’m certain they don’t like me that way. They’re writing themselves and their own crush into a story, and I’m pretty sure I don’t fit—” Shuuichi cut himself off. He had actually never considered the idea that he would be the detective in the story, but he smothered that thought as well. He wasn’t even a detective in real life, there was no way Kokichi would write him as one. It was probably wishful thinking.

“My advice for unrequited love would be…” Rantarou thought for a moment before shrugging. “Don’t spend too much time dwelling on it. Rejection hurts, and I get that. It’d be best to find some way to get over it quickly like finding a new hobby or meeting new people.” He crossed his arms and sighed. “But make sure it’s actually rejection before trying to move on. I’m pretty sure your love isn’t as unrequited as you think it is.”

Was it? Or was it not? Shuuichi couldn’t be too confident in the answer without directly asking for it, and even then he might receive a lie in return. For now, all he could do was keep investigating. “Thanks for the advice, Amami-kun.”

“No problem.”

Just as Shuuichi started to walk away, Rantarou cleared his throat.

“Oh, and good luck with Ouma-kun.”

Shuuichi whipped around to him, eyes wide and mouth agape. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, was I that obvious?_

“You’re not subtle. Not subtle at all,” Rantarou said. He took one look at Shuuichi’s panicked expression and chuckled. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. I won’t tell.”

Shuuichi let out a sigh, holding a hand over his fluttering heart. “Thanks, I guess,” he murmured.

“My point still stands, you know. Make sure you’re actually rejected first.”

“Are you… perhaps speaking from personal experience?”

“No, I’m speaking from common sense,” Rantarou said with a bite in his tone Shuuichi had never heard and didn’t want to hear again. He cracked his book open and removed the bookmark from the pages.

Shuuichi, sensing his dismissal, walked back to his dorm with more questions than answers.

Common sense? He could see why someone would check to make sure they were rejected first, but he couldn’t imagine himself as that person, nor could he imagine Kokichi as a person that would take the confession well. Unless Kokichi liked him back…? What had Rantarou meant by saying his love wasn’t as unrequited as he thought? Why was Kokichi so willing to admit his identity to him? And why was the love interest a detective in the first place? Someone like a private investigator or an actual cop would have made more sense in the context of capturing a thief.

Too many questions were stuck in his head, and all Shuuichi knew was no matter how much he tried to rid of his wishful thinking, a tiny sliver of hope that his feelings were requited remained.

Still, more research had to be conducted before he could draw conclusions. And that research could only come from one person.

 

*

 

Miu ran to Kokichi’s dorm after her impromptu meeting with Shuuichi, licking her lips as she knocked on the door. “Hey, Twinkma, open the damn door!”

A muffled voice came from the other side. “Go away, slut!” Despite his words, the door opened to a room that was messier than her workstation. The whiteboard that hung on his wall was filled with sketches and illegible notes, some sections crossed out in red marker and others circled in orange. The person that opened the door looked nothing like the playful, energetic person she once knew.

Miu squinted her eyes at the state of his room but plopped down on his bed. “So Suckhara was asking about you earlier.”

“Stop contaminating my room with your filthiness, you dirty whore,” Kokichi said as he shut the door.

Miu shuddered but remained unmoved. “Oh, come on! You can’t just kick me out of your room like that without giving me some damn answers!”

“Yes, I can.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“No.”

“Yes. Wait, shit, I mean no! No!” Miu groaned. “I hate you.”

“Then will you get out of my room?”

“Hell no. Why’re you so desperate for me to leave your room anyway? You got some dirty porn mags in here?”

Kokichi’s face broke into a grin. “Yup! It’s all over the place, you know? I have some videos downloaded on my computer, some magazines under the bed, a cum box in the closet. My room’s basically a porn fest. Speaking of that, I need to clean everything soon.”

Miu whistled, though she didn’t look convinced. “Got any major kinks I can shame you for?”

“Hm…” Kokichi looked up, tapping his chin in thought. “I guess a major kink of mine is having someone shut the fuck up for once and get out of my room.”

“Again, why do you want me out of your room so much? Is it because I brought up Suckhara? Wait, shit, don’t tell me.” Miu grinned and pointed a finger at him. “You actually like Suckhara?” She cackled until she realized she was the only one laughing.

“Yes.”

“H-Huh?”

It was supposed to be a shot in the dark, a joke. But instead of earning a few laughs and teases, it had hit him right where it hurt most.

Kokichi stared at her, his face betraying nothing. “So what?”

“H-Huh?”

“So what? What does it matter if I like him that way or not? It’s not like he would ever actually like me back.”

The smile was wiped clean off her face. “You’re… You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

He sighed and nodded.

Alarms rang in Miu’s head. She had never dealt with this before, nor was she equipped for it in the slightest. She had never known a time when Kokichi was too tired to lie, too tired to even smile.

“Do you… Do you want to talk about it?”

Kokichi plastered a grin on his face. “I don’t know, do I _look_ like I want to talk about it?”

“Uh…”

“I’m just… tired,” Kokichi said after a long stretch of silence. His face had gone completely blank, and the bags under his eyes were more prominent than ever. “I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s my beta now, I can’t tell him without jeopardizing the professional aspect of that relationship. And he’s my friend. I don’t want to lose his friendship either.”

“But you’ve gotta tell him at some point. Do you want to stay in this pining fuckery forever?”

“No, but it’s not like I have a choice when he doesn’t like me back.”

“Who says?”

“Iruma, look me right in the eyes and tell me that someone can actually love someone like me.”

Miu flinched at the demotion and brought herself to look into his empty eyes. One look at his face brought back memories from her meeting with Shuuichi.

_“I… really love him,”_ Shuuichi had said, _“I know it’s a bit ridiculous, but I just want to make him happy. I understand if that’s not with me, but… I would really like your help. So, I’ll ask again. Would Ouma-kun take it well if I confessed?”_

Back then, she wasn’t able to answer. She hadn’t gained insight into Kokichi’s true feelings, but now that she had…

She could answer both of their questions.

“Someone… Someone can love you,” Miu said, her voice shaky. “I believe that. I really do. In fact, someone _does_ love you. I’m not saying who, but you’ve gotta trust me when I say that someone loves you with all his heart, and you’re just too blind to see it.”

Judging by the way his lips tightened, that was simultaneously the wrong and the right answer.

“W-Wait, shit, don’t tell me you’re about to cry like some kinda virgin.”

Kokichi hung his head, his face drooping. “Yeah, I definitely have the energy to cry. Nice warning, Iruma-chan.”

Miu’s heart fell, and she held her arms out. “Oh, come here, you big baby.”

Kokichi hesitated. “... What happens in this room stays in this room. You know that, right?”

“Yes, I fucking know that. I’m your friend, you damn idiot. It’s literally my job to do shit like this.”

“... You promise?”

Before Miu could respond, he dropped into her arms with a blank, tired stare, his energy so sapped that he didn’t fight against Miu wrapping her arms around him. Miu held him in her embrace, stuttering out soft words of comfort. This wasn’t her role. She wasn’t fit for comforting people, and they both knew it, yet Kokichi had accepted her attempts to help.

What the actual fuck had just happened? Yesterday, they were exchanging insults and arguing like nothing was wrong. Now, she cradled one of the strongest people she knew in her arms, holding back her tears.

_Be strong, Miu. Be strong for your stupid ass friend,_ Miu thought upon feeling his body grow heavier and heavier. But the look on his face… the utter defeat in his eyes…

It hurt. It hurt to know her friend was feeling this way and she wasn’t able to help. She had trouble analyzing themes in writing already; There was no way she could analyze something as subjective as emotions.

But maybe one of their friends could.

Should she do it even if she was sworn to secrecy? Miu had been trusted with a few secrets, but she wasn’t bound by a contract this time. If it’s for the greater good… If it’s to make her friend happy…

Miu ran her fingers through the mop of purple hair in front of her, a plan formulating in her head.

Even if she couldn’t help him herself, she would ensure that her friend got his happy ending.

 

*

 

Tsumugi woke up to frantic knocking on her door. She glared at the door and groaned. _Seriously, Ouma-kun? At three in the morning?_ She climbed out of her bed and unlocked the door, pulling it open. “Ouma-kun, I swear—Iruma-san?”

Miu looked like hell, to put it lightly. Her hair was matted, and the spark in her eyes had died. Her entire body drooped. The voice that spoke was raspy, a shell of her usual booming voice. “Shirogane, get out of my way.”

_Well, at least she isn’t completely dead._ Tsumugi let out a sigh of relief as she stepped back to let her in. She shut the door. “Are you okay, Iruma-san?”

“Feel like hell,” Miu mumbled, sitting on the bed.

“That’s… nice.”

“Listen, I’m gonna cut the bullshit and get straight to the point.” She chuckled. “Something that little bitch isn’t.”

Tsumugi frowned. Did she mean Kokichi? What did he do now?

Miu scrunched her eyes shut, furrowing her eyebrows and wrinkling her nose in the process. “I just… gotta ask you for a favor.”

Miu asking her for a favor? Miu asking _anyone_ for a favor? Alarms rang in Tsumugi’s head, but she answered anyway. “What is—”

“Let him be happy.”

“... I’m sorry, what?”

“Let the twink be happy,” Miu said, gripping Tsumugi’s wrists almost desperately. “He told me to keep this a secret, but I honestly don’t give a shit. Listen, the little shit’s convinced himself that status quo is god, and he’s not talking about the trope.”

“What are you saying?”

“He’s letting a stupid fucking ‘unrequited’ crush ruin his life. I want to do something, but he told me not to. So now, I’m forcing it on you. Please.” Her grip tightened.

“You actually said the word ‘please’? What happened?”

Miu’s eyes dulled, and she winced. “God, his face is the scariest shit I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t even one of his nightmare faces, it was just blank. He wasn’t smiling. It doesn’t look right without him smiling. It doesn’t _feel_ right.”

“I…” Tsumugi flinched under her intense, burning stare. “This isn’t something you can rush, Iruma-san. As much as I want to interfere, it would violate his privacy and—”

“To hell with his privacy! I mean, not completely to hell with it since I don’t wanna see whatever kinky shit he’s into, but you get what I mean.” She took a deep breath. “I just never, ever want to see that broken look on his face ever again.”

Could Tsumugi agree? She had been afraid of overstepping her boundaries, but she had been best friends with Kokichi for two, maybe even three years now. And if she had learned anything from those rocky years of friendship, it was that they could make it through anything.

“You’re the one who looks broken right now,” Tsumugi joked, reaching up to detangle a strand of blonde hair. Her heart fell at the faint tear tracks on Miu’s face. “I can’t guarantee anything, but… I’ll do my best. You have my word.”

And she wasn’t lying. She had a plan already.

Miu whirled away, embarrassment flooding back. “Tch, what’s that worth nowadays? Why’d you agree so easily?”

Tsumugi looked up in thought before settling her gaze back on Miu with a warm smile. “Because you’re my friend too, you know? Our trio is like one big family.”

“One _small_ family, dumbass. There’s only three of us.”

“You’re not denying it.” Tsumugi chuckled as Miu stumbled over her words in a failed attempt to deny what she had just said. “But seriously, Iruma-san, get some sleep. I know you don’t like taking it easy, but it’s for your own good. And your hair’s all tangled… Hold on.”

“Fuck did you just say? My gorgeous hair can’t ever be tangled, you ignorant bitch!”

Tsumugi ignored her screeches and retreated into her bathroom for a few seconds before returning with a hairbrush. “Wanna sit down on my bed? It’ll feel just like a sleepover.”

Miu opened her mouth to argue it further before giving up. She sighed and sank on her bed. “F-Fine. You’d better not mess up my hair, though.”

Tsumugi hummed as she ran the brush along Miu’s hair, lacing her fingers through the blonde waves. After a few seconds of tension, Miu relaxed into her touch, her eyes fluttering shut.

And for once while the world crumbled around them, there was peace.

 

*

 

Shuuichi paused his reading of the document to hold a tissue to his eyes, sniffling and biting his lip to hold back his wails. His right hand trembled as he scrolled down to the end of the draft Kokichi had sent him. Even if Kokichi told him that he toned down the angst, the writing had smacked him over the head with it, rendering him a crying mess. Once Shuuichi recovered from his crying, he scrolled back to the top, ready to make his corrections, before freezing.

The raw heartbreak of the thief as he felt the detective slipping from him was too real to just be a fantasy. The descriptions of the emotional breakdowns and uncertainty of love were too perfect to not be real.

Now that Shuuichi thought about it, the only times he had recently witnessed Kokichi emerging from his room was for school, to get food, or to terrorize their classmates. He supposed that would be normal for him, but the new context was worrying.  
  
Kokichi as the suffering thief, the thief who was so confident in himself before the detective compromised his identity, the thief who had developed strong feelings for the detective he was afraid of, the thief who was hurting…

He didn’t want to think about it.

Shuuichi scrolled to the top of the draft and brought up a sticky note, ready to take notes on the detective’s characteristics. He winced upon reaching another angsty scene.

_Ouma-kun… are you okay?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know when you can just slowly feel a story going to shit and you woke up at 4am to edit it and now you feel kinda dead? thats the mood right now
> 
> Fanlore: A wiki dedicated to recording information about fanworks and fan communities
> 
> Kokichi's fandom speech: This was based off a post on Tumblr reassuring content consumers that they were important. It stuck with me ever since I saw it, but I couldn't find the exact post
> 
> Please let me know if you have any questions.


	5. Fix-It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my irl friend again for having to tolerate my screaming

Kaede was worried.

It might have seemed like a common feeling with her role as the Mom friend (and to be fair, it was), but this was beyond just worried, and she couldn’t put it into words. Troubled? Concerned? Distressed? None of those words could describe just how much worry was pitted in her heart as she watched her friend slip into sadness.

“Good morning, Saihara-kun,” Kaede said, taking a seat next to him in the classroom.

A few classmates were scattered around them. Their chitchat shattered the silence, and a shuffling of papers could be heard. If it was Angie pulling out a scrap sheet of paper for a doodle or Kaito frantically copying down answers for their homework, Kaede wasn’t sure.

Shuuichi blinked a few times before turning to her with an unsteady smile. “Oh, good morning, Akamatsu-san.”

“What were you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

Kaede followed where Shuuichi’s gaze had originally been, only for her own stare to land on the sight of Kokichi and Rantarou talking to each other. Kokichi said something to prompt Rantarou into ruffling his hair, to which Rantarou received an indignant huff in return. It almost looked like a casual scene between an older and younger sibling.

Kaede smiled, her spirits lifted at the sweet scene between her classmates. It was nice to see everyone was getting along. 

But why had Shuuichi been staring at them with such a forlorn expression?

“Hey, Saihara-kun,” Kaede started, “We’re all your friends, you know. You’re not alone. We’ll always be here to support you.”

Shuuichi raised an eyebrow but smiled. “Thanks, Akamatsu-san.”

So loneliness wasn’t the problem, and neither was being alone. Could it be something external?

“And you know that grades don’t define you as a person, right?” Kaede said. “Plus, the school has a system where you can ask for a tutor. It’s all free, and both of you benefit from it. Don’t be ashamed of using it.”

“Thank you, but my grades are fine.”

“Is someone hurting you?”

He turned to her with a tight smile. “Don’t worry about me, Akamatsu-san, I’m fine. Now excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” He stood up and walked out of the classroom before Kaede could question him.

Someone was hurting him? Knowing Shuuichi, that probably meant that someone was himself. There were two options as to what that could mean, but Kaede didn’t think it was the physical type, seeing as how he had seemed emotionally drained over the past couple of days. If it wasn’t feeling lonely or some external force, then that only left one thing.

Kaede’s gaze darted between Rantarou and Kokichi. Did Shuuichi think they were together or had a romantic interest in each other? It was clear they didn’t, but he must have been interpreting their interactions as something else. But why would that upset him so—

Oh.

_ Oh. _

Kaede craned her head down, their conversation floating above the buzz of chatter. She didn’t like to eavesdrop, but the way Rantarou turned slightly in her direction told her it wasn’t as unwelcome as she thought it was.

“Huh? Where did Saihara-chan go?” Kokichi asked, looking around the room. 

Rantarou shrugged. “Maybe you should go after him. You really care about him, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Kokichi said slowly with narrowed, suspicious eyes. He plastered a grin on his face to hide his suspicion. “Who wouldn’t? Saihara-chan is just sooo cute! I love him, you know.”

“Finally—”

“That was a lie!” He paused. “Wait, why did you say ‘finally’?”

Rantarou didn’t respond. He tilted his head just the slightest bit and sent Kaede the deadest look she had ever seen, his eyebrows raised in the universal  _ “Are you seeing this shit?” _ expression. His usually vibrant eyes were empty and dull. His lips were tugged into something that wasn’t a frown but wasn’t quite a smile either. In that moment, his soul had left his body for a split second before he turned to Kokichi with a forced smile. “No reason.”

And that was when it hit her.

Her best friend had a crush on the class troublemaker. And that class troublemaker liked him back.

No matter how much Kaede tried to convince herself otherwise, the evidence was damning, from the way Shuuichi described his crush in the music room to his bitterness just a few minutes ago. Kokichi didn’t have a better case, as it was clear he wasn’t lying when he said he loved Shuuichi (at least, as far as Kaede knew.  _ She _ wasn’t the one who had developed lying detection skills just to get to know her crush better).

Now that she thought about it, their crushes were obvious. They sent fleeting glances at each other that were full of an expression she could now identify as love. Their hands brushed in the hallways. While they never partnered up for group projects, they always made excuses to talk to the other person. How had she not seen it sooner? How had  _ they _ not seen it yet?

Kaede resisted the urge to groan and slam her palm against her forehead when Shuuichi walked back into the room and sent another sad smile to Kokichi.

_ Saihara-kun. Ouma-kun. You two are the dumbest friends I’ve ever had. _

 

*

 

Kokichi had no clue what to expect when Shuuichi invited him out to a coffee shop, but it certainly wasn’t being seated across Rantarou with Shuuichi nowhere in sight. Shuuichi was twenty minutes late by now. He was never late.

Rantarou set their drinks on the table as Kokichi’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and read the text.

**SS:** Have fun on your date.

Wait,  _ what? _

Kokichi squinted his eyes at the text, reading it over and over again. Was this seriously the product of all of Shuuichi’s investigation? A date with someone he liked to spend time with but didn’t have any romantic interest in? He supposed it could have been worse, but being around Rantarou for too long was dangerous. It was only a matter of time before—

“Was that from Saihara-kun?” Rantarou asked, taking a seat across from him and pointing at his phone.

“Yup! And apparently, we’re on a date.”

Rantarou’s face contorted into a variety of expressions Kokichi had trouble not laughing at. He settled on a strained smile and sighed. “Really? Even though we don’t like each other that way? Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. I had to talk to you about something anyway.”

Great. Kokichi saw this coming from a mile away, but he tilted his head and poked his cheek with a finger like he didn’t know what he was about to say. “Hm? What do you mean?”

“I just wanted to ask you a few questions. No big deal.”

It was clearly a big deal judging by his tone, but Kokichi smiled anyway. “Nishishi! Ask away, but watch out for my lies!” He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms behind his head in an attempt to give himself a more relaxed appearance. He could do this. All he had to do was lie his ass off.

“Of course.” Rantarou paused to clear his throat. “First question: Are you in the Dangan Ronpa fandom?”

“Hm… Nope, sorry. Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“But didn’t you talk about it with Shirogane-san just yesterday?”

Kokichi’s heart stopped at being called out on his lie, but he gave no indication of it. “You were eavesdropping on our conversation? How rude, Amami-chan. Do you not respect my privacy?”

“So you admit you’re lying?”

“So you admit you don’t respect me?” Tears welled up in Kokichi’s eyes, and he clutched at his heart dramatically. “And here I was thinking we were friends. W-Was our entire friendship just a lie?”

“Sorry, but deflecting the accusations onto me isn’t going to work,” Rantarou said. “So now that we’ve established you’re in the Dangan Ronpa fandom, is Saihara-kun in the fandom as well?”

“Is that something you should be asking me?”

“You two  _ do  _ spend a lot of time with each other.”

“That doesn’t mean I know everything about him.”

“But you would like that, wouldn’t you?”

Kokichi laughed. “Of course, I do! I love all my friends sooo much! That includes you, Amami-chan.”

“You can stop lying to me about your feelings,” Rantarou said, sipping his cup of coffee. “I won’t tell anyone. That’s not my job, it’s yours or Saihara-kun’s.”

Rantarou had caught onto the truth quickly, but Kokichi wasn’t ready to give up yet.

“What feelings?” Kokichi asked. He tilted his head. “Are you jealous or something?”

“Ouma—”

“But the real question is if you’re jealous of me or Saihara-chan. Aw, man, that’s gonna be hard to answer. We’re both really cute, after all.”

“Ou—”

“He’s so interesting it makes my head hurt sometimes. I never expected him to read fanfiction, yet he does. And did you know he doesn’t pass everything I say off as a lie? He never bores me. Saihara-chan is so nice to everyone, too. He apologizes to people all the time even when it’s not his fault. I wish he wouldn’t do that, but it just makes him cuter. Can you believe he’s at the top of the class? I mean, we’re always above him by a point or two, but that doesn’t make him any less smart. Maybe not smart in matters of love, but you can figure that out.” Kokichi finished his case with a wide grin. “I can see why you would love him so much.”

Rantarou’s lips curled into a peculiar smile. “I don’t think I’m the one in love with him if I didn’t just go on a rant about how much I love Saihara-kun. In fact, I would hazard a guess and say  _ you’re _ the one in love with him. Would that be correct?”

Shit. His big mouth fucked everything up.

Kokichi laughed. “But that was just a lie, you know. I don’t really think about Saihara-chan that way.”

“No, that wasn’t a lie,” Rantarou said. He paused to point at Kokichi’s chest. “You were speaking from your heart, not your head. I don’t know about you, but I find the heart to be much more truthful about what it wants.”

It was oddly poetic in a way, Rantarou smiling at him with the warmth of the sun and pointing at him like he would tease a little brother. It would have been a heartwarming moment Kokichi would have taken note of for future use had Rantarou not just exposed his lies.

“Woah, looks like Amami-chan caught me!” Kokichi sang tunelessly. His smile twitched. “Fine. I may or may not have a tiny crush on Saihara-chan.”

“You liar. That crush is bigger than Great Pyramids.”

“Oh, shut up, I know,” Kokichi spat, bitterness filling him. “I know what I’m lying about.”

Rantarou stared at him. His smile had been wiped clean off his face. “Then do you know you’re lying to yourself about how Saihara-kun feels?”

“What?”

“Remember yesterday when Saihara-kun suddenly disappeared from the room?” 

Kokichi nodded, his movements to sip his coffee shaky and uncertain. He hadn’t liked this conversation from the beginning, and he certainly didn’t like where it was going.

“Akamatsu-san told me what she thinks happened,” Rantarou said, “He walked out because he thought we were interested in each other. I don’t know why he would think that when he literally came up to me about unrequited love, but that was his thought process.”

“So in other words… he was jealous?”

“Yeah.”

“Of us?”

“Yup.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Rantarou shrugged. “Aren’t you wondering why he would be jealous, though?”

Kokichi knew exactly where he was going with that, but he couldn’t accept anything but the truth, and the feelings Rantarou was implying wasn’t the truth. It couldn’t be. “No, I’m not wondering, because Saihara-chan doesn’t like me that way. He can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a liar. Who wants to be with a liar?”

“You would be surprised.”

“Let me rephrase that. Why would  _ Saihara-chan  _ want to be with a liar? Nice try, Amami-chan, but you can’t lie to the ultimate liar.”

Rantarou sighed, shaking his head. “If that’s what you want to believe, then fine. Just know this.” He crossed his arms. “The more you avoid talking about this, the more you’re hurting Saihara-kun. If you don’t want to hurt him, at least talk to him about your feelings.”

“Judging by how you’re talking right now, I’ve already hurt him.”

“Yeah, but you can fix it.”

“ _ Fix _ it? How would I fix something like this?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Your specialty is fix-it fics, after all.”

Kokichi narrowed his eyes. “Wait—”

“Yes, yes, I know you’re KingHorse.”

“How?”

Rantarou gave him a blank stare. “I literally sit behind you in class. Half the time, you’re staring at Saihara-kun, and the other half, you’re writing in your notebook. You’re not slick. Plus, that whole ‘nishishi’ thing you always put in the comments gives it away. I read your fics too, you know.” He paused to smile and ruffle his hair. “Don’t worry, I’m not telling anyone. Just promise me you’ll consider what I said, okay?” He tossed his drink into a nearby trash can before leaving the store.

Kokichi stared at the spot Rantarou had just been, abandoning his smile.

As much as Kokichi tried, he couldn’t hide the truth from Rantarou, though he got the feeling Rantarou had already known the truth and just wanted confirmation. Was he losing his touch at lying? Their conversation had certainly made it seem like it.

Kokichi slid his finger on the table, forming invisible words and grouping them together. First, he had to accept that Rantarou knew about his crush on Shuuichi and his identity as KingHorse. He knew Rantarou was capable of keeping his mouth shut, but he couldn’t help but worry just the slightest bit. 

Second, Shuuichi had apparently gone to Rantarou for advice on unrequited love. That wouldn’t make sense unless Shuuichi himself had a crush and had confirmed said crush didn’t like him back. The only question was if it fell under the unrequited love trope or the not-actually-unrequited love trope.

Just for once, Kokichi entertained the fantasy of Shuuichi liking him back. He switched to his character analysis lenses and stared down at the table. If he was that ‘unrequited’ crush like Rantarou had been suggesting, it would… actually make some sense. Shuuichi investigating who his crushes were would be a way for him to try to move on (though he seemed to be failing miserably). Everything he had done on the subject of Kokichi’s crush, while wrong on so many levels he didn’t know where to begin, had good intentions. It was almost as if his goal was to make Kokichi happy… How ridiculous. It was almost as self-indulgent as his entire fanfiction account.

But when Kokichi removed his character analysis lenses and looked up, everything remained the same.

Kokichi shattered his lenses and threw them away with his coffee cup. It may not have been physical, but there was only room for one liar in his head, and that was him.

 

*

 

**AK:** are you sure this is gonna work shirogane-san?  
**ST:** its the best shot we have. you saw how he reacted with amami-kun  
**AR:** i actually thought he was gonna kill me  
**ST:** no one cares normie  
**AR:** rude  
**AK:** are you sure he wont find out? hes pretty smart in nonromantic matters  
**ST:** do you have a better idea?  
**AR:** we’re just saying it might be wise to rethink this and weigh the pros and cons of every option  
**IM:** too late i already did it  
**AK:** IRUMA-SAN  
**AR:** ok scrap that guess we have to stick with this plan then  
**ST:** report back to me when youre done. Ive already done my part with the teachers

 

*

 

__ GreatestInventor  
__ hey cuck u still going on about that   
__ angst shit??why the fuck you be  
__ breaking my heart like this how dare  
__ you. Your writing is so good though?  
_ Good on ya buddy i hope you don’t get  
_ __ writers block

__ PianoIdiot  
__ Wow just as i thought this story couldn’t  
__ get better, you prove me wrong again!  
__ I absolutely love the interactions between   
__ the thief and the detective, especially  
_ their confession in the latest chapter.   
_ __ I cant wait to see how this ends!

__ Avocado  
__ I can’t believe…. You would wound   
__ my heart like this…Im a lurker so i   
__ dont really know what to say other   
__ than this really broke my heart. Now   
__ that the cat’s out of the bag and the   
_ last chapter is coming up soon, i wonder  
_ __ what will happen…

 

Kokichi held a hand over his mouth to suppress the grin rising to his face. His hard work had paid off. His heart felt as if it would explode with happiness as he read and reread the influx of comments he had received from the last chapter. When he scrolled up, his kudos count as significantly higher than the past chapters he had uploaded.

What about this chapter made people suddenly give it so much love? He couldn’t see any obvious signs like a cliffhanger or any particular moment his readers would like. The only plausible conclusion was that they were waiting for the last chapter to come out. But a bunch of projects were due soon, and his teachers were suddenly assigning him more homework… 

There was only one thing left to do.

Kokichi opened up his draft and set his hands on the keyboard, potential first lines rushing through his head. The pressure was on to push his final chapter out quickly, but he didn’t care. He would surprise his readers with an early chapter, and there was nothing the world could do about it.

 

*

 

It turned out there was something the world could do about it.

“Saihara-chan, trust me, I can write. Give me my laptop back.”

Shuuichi took one look at the way Kokichi struggled to get out of bed and shook his head, handing the laptop to Tsumugi. “Ouma-kun, you can’t even leave bed. The revision process is going to be a nightmare if you write now.”

“I don’t care, my first drafts are always messes anyway.” Kokichi glared at Tsumugi’s retreating figure and glared harder when the door to his room closed. “I can’t believe you two. You dare disobey my orders?”

“Yes, I dare disobey your orders when you’re hurting yourself,” Shuuichi said with a sigh. He shook his head and rubbed his thumb on the back of Kokichi’s hand. “I wish you would just take care of yourself for once. You can’t write if you’re dead.”

Instead of a smile followed with a teasing joke, Kokichi looked away. His voice fell to a mumble. “Yeah, I know. Sorry.”

Shuuichi gave him a tired smile. “You’re so tired you can’t even lie right now. Please rest.” He pulled the blankets up until it reached Kokichi’s neck.

Kokichi pouted but buried himself under the blankets. They stayed in silence until he spoke up in a softer voice. “You’re a good person, Saihara-chan, you know that?”

“I mean… I wouldn’t call myself a  _ bad _ person per se, but—”

“Shhh… trust me on this.”

Shuuichi looked at him warily. Was Kokichi delirious enough to lose his common sense? He  _ had _ stayed up for three days straight, after all.

“And since you’re such a good person, you’ll get my laptop back for me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Shuuichi sighed. “Ouma-kun, you woke up the entire dorm at five in the morning with a scream when you found the right word for something. We all thought you were dying or something equally as horrible.”

Kokichi opened his mouth to laugh, only to let out a series of coughs. His voice came out as a weak rasp that made Shuuichi’s heart ache and his worries skyrocket. “Bet Harukawa-chan would’ve loved that, eh?”

“I mean… maybe. But  _ I _ wouldn’t.” Shuuichi gathered all of the fear churning in his stomach and threw it away to stare right into his eyes. “And neither would your readers. I’m your friend, reader, and beta. Can you please just take care of yourself?”

“No can do,” Kokichi said, a waver in his voice. “Inspiration’s hit me, and I gotta write like the wind before writer’s block sneaks up on me again.”

That was odd. Just a week ago, Shuuichi could clearly remember Kokichi complaining about how the words wouldn’t flow. He was sure he could pull up the text logs if he was asked. “What’s with the sudden inspiration?”

“The president of Australia invited me to read my final chapter as a bedtime story. It’s a real honor, you know?”

“Australia has a prime minister, not a president. You’re lying.”

“Nishishi! Caught me again!” Kokichi moved to fold his arms behind his head, only to frown upon realizing he was lying in bed and couldn’t move his arms. “Truth is, my latest chapter got a ton of love. That’s a huge motivator.”

“But wasn’t that an angsty chapter?”

Kokichi shrugged, his smile fading. He sat up. “I know. It’s weird, isn’t it? But I’m not complaining.”

“You noticed it was weird?”

“Goodnight, Saihara-chan. Love you!”

“W-What?”

Kokichi answered by knocking himself out and collapsing from exhaustion, the side of his head falling into Shuuichi’s lap. His breathing had slowed to a steady pace. Even while he slept, his lips were lifted into a soft smile.

Kokichi loved him? Fireworks lit up in Shuuichi’s heart at the thought. He knew Kokichi usually lied about his affections and teased him every opportunity he got, so he couldn’t confirm the validity of his sentence. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder.

Shuuichi knew Kokichi couldn’t see the blush on his face, but he crossed his fingers he couldn’t feel the way his heart suddenly lurched and beat like a drum. It was the first time he had seen Kokichi genuinely asleep (at least, he hoped so. If Kokichi woke up to what Shuuichi was doing, he wouldn’t let it go for weeks). He resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair and stopped to think.

While Shuuichi hadn’t been following Kokichi’s fanfiction for too long, a quick text to Tsumugi confirmed that the last chapter was a major anomaly in the statistics she had been tracking ever since she became his beta reader. Angsty chapters tended to do well in the comments and subscriptions department, but it never got half the kudos or views a fluffy chapter did. The last chapter had gathered the most comments and kudos in the history of the fic, and it had been out for less than a week. The data didn’t lie, but analysis was left on his shoulders. 

Suddenly, he can’t analyze for shit.

Why had that last chapter boomed? What about the content had convinced so many readers to suddenly drop all their love into it? Or was it not the content at all? Maybe there was another factor he was missing…

Shuuichi was pulled out of his thoughts when the head in his lap readjusted itself. He smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Kokichi’s ear. Shuuichi may have been a detective at heart, but he was first and foremost a person. People were allowed to feel confused, frustrated, adoring, impulsive. It wasn’t their job to uncover the truth. So Shuuichi hummed as he caressed Kokichi’s cheek, taking note of the way the smile on Kokichi’s lips grew just a bit softer. He almost jumped when the body leaned into his touch but let out a sigh of relief upon hearing the increasingly familiar snores.

He could leave the work for another day. For now, he would enjoy the rare moment of peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who got sick while writing this : ^) Also shoutout to Reserve Course Writer for predicting how much Rantarou knows from the first chapter. 
> 
> Please let me know if you have any questions.


	6. Plot Twist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to my irl friend for looking over this chapter again!

The amount of stupid shit Kokichi’s classmates pulled off never managed to surprise him, from Kaede accidentally jamming her foot underneath a piano pedal during a particularly passionate practice session to Ryouma climbing up ten textbooks and two people to reach the tennis balls someone had misplaced on the top cabinet to Korekiyo falling out of a tree while people-watching, resulting in a broken arm and even more broken pride. Hell, even _he_ did some admittedly stupid things like skateboarding off the roof of the school and landing himself in the hospital (No regrets though. That kickflip would go down in history). But what had to be the dumbest thing that happened all year was Shuuichi thinking he could cram for a week’s worth of exams in one day, running himself into the ground until all Kokichi could see was this pathetic figure in front of him.

“Man, Saihara-chan, you’ve got to be really stupid to try to study for all of our exams in one day,” Kokichi said, plopping down on the patterned carpet of Shuuichi’s dorm. “Who studies both history and math in the same day?”

“Apparently I do,” Shuuichi mumbled. He sat up on his bed and winced at the following pain in his head. “I still need to study. We have exams next week.”

“So? Who cares about exams?”

Shuuichi gave him a dubious look. “... You do. You study more than I do.”

“Yeah, but not all at once. That’s not healthy.”

“I don’t want to hear that from the person who stayed up for three nights straight.”

“Ooh, getting snappy now, are we? You’re being so mean to the person trying to help you! That’s cold, Saihara-chan!” Tears welled in Kokichi’s eyes but dried when Shuuichi let out a sigh. “You really care about your grade, don’t you?”

Shuuichi nodded. “I’m… sorry for yelling at you, but I really need to pass these exams. Our first exam is physics, but I don’t know what’s going on in that class. You’re not in that class either, so you can’t really help me with anything…”

Kokichi observed the bags under Shuuichi’s eyes and the single gray hair hidden underneath layers of blue locks before speaking again. “Hey, Saihara-chan, where does bad light end up?”

“Um… I don’t think there’s such a thing as—”

“In a prism.”

Shuuichi stopped, processing the words. He bit his lip, but a few giggles escaped him nonetheless.

Kokichi’s heart soared at the sound. “Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? It’s in a ground state.”

More musical laughter. “T-These are so stupid,” Shuuichi said, wiping the tears collecting in his eyes.

“Then why are you laughing? Your humor is so lame, Saihara-chan.”

“Hey, you’re the one telling these jokes.”

“Here’s another one for you. Who was the first electricity detective?”

Shuuichi shook his head but leaned forward, eyes glittering. “Who _was_ the first electricity detective?”

“Sherlock Ohms.”

That was the breaking point. Shuuichi’s body was wracked with laughter, and the hand over his mouth did nothing to stop it. His face grew redder and redder as he continued laughing.

Kokichi couldn’t help but laugh as well but kept his laughs quiet, admiring Shuuichi’s rare laughter instead. But there was only so much time he could spend staring before it looked suspicious. He dusted his hands and stood up from the ground. “Well, that’s it from me. I’m off to tell everyone about your weird sense of humor. Bye, Saihara-chan!” He walked to the door.

“Wait, Ouma-kun.”

Kokichi turned around, only to meet the warmest, sweetest smile he had ever been given.

“Thanks for cheering me up,” Shuuichi said, his head tilted just the slightest bit. Stray strands of hair framed his lips, and his entire face seemed to glow.

Kokichi’s heart stopped. His gaze darted from Shuuichi’s eyes to his hair and to his lips before he walked out of the room without a word, shutting the door behind him before running to his own dorm.

The past week of getting little sleep was starting to take an obvious toll on him if he fled the room like a startled rabbit. His sleep schedule had never been so messed up before, and Kokichi didn’t know what his sleep-deprived self  was capable of. He had to be careful. The more he avoided sleep, the more he ran the risk of doing something stupid like confessing at the worst time possible.

Kokichi entered his room and locked the door behind him. He settled at his desk, taking out the notebook he had drafted some of his chapter in during class. As he typed the words onto his computer, he couldn’t help but worry about his beta process.

Shuuichi was his grammar and spelling beta and would be even more important than he already was since Kokichi wouldn’t be able to catch every mistake during his editing sessions at two in the morning. But judging by the scene in his dorm, Shuuichi would be out of commission until all exams were finished. Tsumugi, who didn’t care about exams as much as Shuuichi did, would be the only hope for a decent chapter, but her specialty wasn’t in grammar and spelling (It was making fun of his characterization and berating him for stretching out the slow burn too long). He had to trust her, though. He didn’t have a choice.

So once Kokichi finished his fourth draft, he sent it to Tsumugi and waited.

 

*

 

Two drafts and one week later, the chapter was finally ready for publication.

Even with his sleep deprivation and neglect of his exams, Kokichi still found it in himself to smile as he read over the draft one more time, fixing some of the spelling errors he found along the way. While it wouldn’t be as grammatically pristine as his previous chapters, it was by far the most satisfying of any of the twenty-five chapters he had posted. It was bittersweet ending the story he had spent so long writing, but it had to be done nonetheless.

Kokichi previewed the chapter formatting before clicking on the post button and falling asleep on his desk.

Seven hours passed before a text from Tsumugi woke him up at nine AM, and a pit of dread settled in his stomach.

**ST:** check your latest chapter.  
**OK:** shiro-chan u traitor u woke me up  
**ST:** trust me when i say you should check your chapter  
**OK:** relaaaxxx shiro-chan i didnt do anything stupid right?

Ten minutes passed without a response, and that was when Kokichi concluded that sleep-deprived Kokichi was an asshole.

Something had gone wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. Should he check it or was ignorance bliss? He desperately wanted to believe that Tsumugi was just messing with him, but it wasn’t in her nature to pull a prank, especially one she knew would send him into a panicked downward spiral. He took a deep breath before clicking on his latest chapter and reading it.

Everything was fine until the last line, but hundreds of people had already seen it. He giggled, his fatigue dulling the wave of panic until all that was left was amusement.

“I fucked up.”

 

*

 

It was six in the morning when Shuuichi was awakened by a text from Kaede. He groaned as he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes before checking his phone.

**AK:** SAIHARA-KUN THE FINAL CHAPTER OF A PHANTOM THIEF CAME OUT  
**SS:** did you really have to wake me up for it?  
**AK:** oh oops. Sorry  
**SS:** its fine  
**AK:** still, i think you should read it as soon as possible. And pay attention to the last paragraph especially  
**SS:** is there a particular reason for that?  
**AK:** trust me

Shuuichi’s following questions were read but ignored. It was suspicious, but it wasn’t enough evidence for him to accuse her of anything, nor did he want to accuse anyone of anything this early in the morning. He logged onto AO3 and tapped on his bookmarks to access the latest chapter.

It took him a good three hours to get through the ten thousand word chapter, partly because he had just woken up and partly because he didn’t want the story to end.

But all good things must come to an end. The final scene described the detective and thief coming to terms with their love and what they had to risk to get to where they were today. The emotional rollercoaster they had been on for the past twenty-five chapters had finally paid off, and now he sat in his bed holding back tears at the ending. His reading speed slowed as he read the last paragraph.

Wait.

Was that… Was that _his_ name in the last paragraph? Was this a plot twist?

Shuuichi pinched his cheeks and rubbed his eyes before reading over it again in case he hallucinated it in his half-asleep state, but no matter how many times he read it, his name remained imprinted on the screen in place of where the detective’s name was supposed to be written. It didn’t seem intentionally placed, as the hyphen for the honorific was missing. But why would Kokichi put his name as the detective when—

Because _he_ was the detective all along.

It took him a moment to process before the implications hit him like a truck. All the research he had conducted, all the time he had poured into trying to make his loved one happy, all the hurt feelings… All of that could have been avoided if Shuuichi had just been honest about his feelings?

His feelings were requited. His feelings were requited. His feelings were requited! Oh god, his feelings were requited!

Chuckles rumbled in Shuuichi’s throat until they bubbled into full-blown laughter. _Oh my god. I’m supposed to be a detective. Someone take away my internship, I’m a complete dumbass. Ouma-kun, I’m so sorry you had to like someone this stupid._

A grin broke to his face, and warmth wrapped around him like a blanket. Excitement buzzed from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. He felt so light the wind could sweep him away if he wasn’t careful. But even if the wind swept him somewhere far away, his heart would remain where he was right now.

Would Kokichi be awake at nine in the morning? It seemed like a reasonable time to be awake, but Shuuichi could never be sure with him. There was only one way to find out.

 

*

 

At this point, there was nothing Kokichi could do except wait for death. He supposed he could fix his error, but the world had already seen it and didn’t fail to remind him in the comments. He edited it for clarity’s sake anyway and dialed a number.

“... Hello?”

“Shiro-chan! How are you? Isn’t it such a great morning?”

Tsumugi’s voice went flat. “Ouma-kun. I can tell you don’t believe that.”

Kokichi’s grin grew wider as he spoke. “Did you check out the comments on my last chapter? Do you see all the people asking who Saihara-chan is? How the hell did I not catch—” He cut himself off and froze upon hearing a knock on his door.

“Hey, Ouma-kun, can I talk to you for a bit?”

Fuck. That was Shuuichi’s voice.

Kokichi held his breath, hoping he was silent enough for Shuuichi to assume he was still sleeping. Tsumugi must have heard the voice too, as the other end of the phone went quiet. The room was completely silent save for the sound of his beating heart.

Another knock. “I know you’re awake, but it’s fine if you don’t want to see me right now. Come talk to me when you’re ready, okay?” Footsteps growing quieter and quieter indicated Shuuichi’s disappearance.

Why did he have to fall in love with someone as nice as Shuuichi? Why couldn’t he have fallen in love with someone who was easier to get over? Kokichi hated that he felt useless, but he can’t say he regretted loving Shuuichi. Not now, not ever.

“... Hey, Ouma-kun,” Tsumugi called, her voice gentle. “Everything’s going to end up fine. I promise.”

Kokichi snapped back to his senses and blinked. “You sound really certain about that, Shiro-chan. Did you have anything to do with this?”

“I was only a little less sleep-deprived as you were, and that’s not saying much when I’m pretty sure you only slept for, like, seven hours this entire week.”

It felt like she was tip-toeing around the subject, but Kokichi had to admit that it made sense. While he was chained to his computer, he could clearly remember never seeing Tsumugi go offline and him reblogging memes about telling friends to go to sleep (all of which she liked and ignored, he noted with a sour taste in his mouth). Besides, ruining another relationship with a beta reader would be a move stupider than his skateboard incident, so he stayed silent.

“You’ll have to talk to him sometime, you know,” Tsumugi continued, “And I think the sooner you do that, the better. You don’t gain anything by running away from your feelings, but you at least get closure if you talk.”

Kokichi could think of several benefits of keeping his mouth shut, but he didn’t voice his thoughts. “Yeah, yeah, I got it. Jeez, why do you have to be such a mom?”

“I’m not being a mom, I’m telling you to not have communication issues for once.”

“Yeah. Exactly like a mom.”

Tsumugi huffed. “I’m not the mom of the class. That title goes to someone else. And if you were my son, I think I would regret life.”

Kokichi sniffed as tears welled in his eyes. “That’s so rude, Shiro-chan! And here I was thinking we were actually a happy family. What did I do for you to disown me?”

“Be yourself.”

Just as Kokichi opened his mouth to respond, his email pinged with a notification from AO3 saying someone had gifted a work to him. He frowned at the username. “Saihara-chan just gifted a work to me.”

“Read it.”

“Well, I’m not gonna read it if you tell me to read it,” Kokichi said, fighting to make himself click on the link. Once the work popped up in another tab, he said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone.

The work was a drabble around three hundred words. The text itself was riddled with spelling and grammar errors, and the pacing was off. It was clear the story was rushed and written under a time limit.

_Really, Saihara-chan? How are you my SPAG beta?_ Kokichi thought before his eyes scrolled over the text.

The story had been a love letter from the detective to the thief of Kokichi’s AU. Every word detailed the passionate, amusing, and sometimes tedious love the detective held for the thief. The detective wanted to shout his love from the rooftops, to let everyone know that there was still good in the world, and that good was in the affection for another human being. Love really could drive people to do things they normally wouldn’t, and that included swallowing their fears and facing the person they had grown to care for more than anything else in the world. The potential to be rejected hurt, but not knowing if they liked you back or not hurt more.

That line resonated too well with him.

The end of the drabble was approaching. Kokichi should almost be done with—

Wait.

Was that _his_ name in the last sentence? A plot twist at the last possible moment?

Kokichi buried his face in his hands and groaned upon confirming that yes, Shuuichi had written in his name as the thief and had signed off the letter with his own name. So did Shuuichi see himself as the detective and Kokichi as the thief? Kokichi supposed that was his intended interpretation, but he didn’t see the point in—

Kokichi was stupid. Oh god, he was so stupid.

His mind had been slowly gathering information before fitting all the pieces together in a rush. He had brushed off Shuuichi’s insistence on taking care of him during his collapse as something Tsumugi had pushed onto him, but Shuuichi wasn’t lying when he said it was of his own free will. He wasn’t lying when he said he wanted Kokichi to be happy either. And he couldn’t lie about the hopeful lilt in his voice when he had asked Kokichi to come out of his room just thirty minutes prior. Kokichi prided himself on being able to tell when anyone was lying, but he had been lying to himself all along.

Kokichi’s face heated up when he thought about what could happen if he decided to confront Shuuichi, and something pinched his heart when he found himself wondering what Shuuichi’s lips felt like. What if he had actually made a move at that hibachi restaurant or ice cream parlor all those months ago?

It wasn’t time for regrets.

Kokichi stood up from his chair and opened his door, only to bump straight into Shuuichi. He took a giant step back and forced himself to meet his eyes with a bright grin. “Oh, hey, Saihara-chan! What did you want from me?” Kokichi folded his arms behind his head as if he wasn’t internally screaming.

Shuuichi’s mouth opened and closed before he ducked his head away to hide a blush. It was reassuring to see Kokichi wasn’t the only one not ready for this conversation. “I, uh… Did you see the fic I gifted to you?”

“Yeah.”

“What… What did you think of it?”

Kokichi froze. His fingers tensed behind his head, but he couldn’t let himself run away. Not again. “I think I need to reconsider your spot on my beta team. Your spelling and grammar were horrendous.”

Shuuichi chuckled. “Yeah, I wrote that in, like, ten minutes. I normally would have run it through a spellchecker first, but I was kind of in a hurry.”

“Yeah, I could tell.” Kokichi’s lips tightened, and his arms dropped to his sides. The tension was too thick for jokes. “It was a pretty silly move to leave both of our names in that fic. Are you trying to mock me?”

“No, I’m not mocking you at all!” Shuuichi said, his voice frantic. He hesitated before taking Kokichi’s hands in his own. “Is this okay?”

All Kokichi could do was nod and try not to think about his heart beating wildly in his chest.

“I-I just…” Shuuichi sighed. “The thing with the thief and the detective… I meant everything I said in that fic I gifted to you.”

“Everything?”

“Everything. The only question is if you meant everything, too.”

This was it. Kokichi wouldn’t keep running away. He took a deep breath and said, “... Yes. I meant everything. I didn’t put your name there as a sick joke or anything like that. It was an accident, but it slipped in there because… I really like you, Saihara-chan. More than I should.”

“Then… Then I like you more than I should, too.” Shuuichi’s grip on his hand tightened, and he turned his head to the side. “I don’t know when or how this started, but I’ve fallen too hard to get out now.”

“Saihara-chan. Look at me."  
Shuuichi hesitated before forcing himself to look straight into Kokichi’s eyes.

And when Kokichi took a deep look into the eyes of the person he had grown to love, he saw truth.

“Can I kiss you?” Kokichi asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Shuuichi’s face lit up bright red before he nodded. “I-I mean, only if you want to. We don’t have to do it right now if you don’t want to. I just… I should probably stop talk—” He was interrupted by a pair of lips locking onto his.

Shuuichi stood still before pushing back with more intensity and moving his hands to Kokichi’s shoulders. Kokichi gripped the fabric of Shuuichi’s shirt as if he were afraid if he let go, everything would disappear. It wasn’t a perfect kiss. Far from it. But with the months, even years of tension and suppressed feelings between the two finally being resolved, it was all they could ever hope for.

Kokichi was the first to pull away, observing Shuuichi with a smile. “Nishishi! Your face is so red, Saihara-chan. Was my kiss just that good?”

Shuuichi fumbled over his words before managing to string a sentence together. “I-I mean… your face is red, too.”

“Lies. I never blush.” That was a lie, and Kokichi knew it. His face felt as if it could melt at any moment from the heat, and he was sure his heartbeats were visible even over the clothes he wore. “Anyway, you should go dress up. We’re going somewhere.”

“Huh? Why?”

Kokichi scrunched his face into a look of disbelief, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “You get a boyfriend, but you don’t take him out on a date? That’s so rude, Saihara-chan.”

Shuuichi’s face lit up red again. “B-Boyfriend?”

“Yeah, boyfriend.” Kokichi paused, his own face slowly heating up. “Boyfriend…”

“Then as your… _boyfriend,_ I suppose I should take you out on a date,” Shuuichi said. He chuckled upon seeing Kokichi’s ears redden and held his hand out. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Stop teasing me,” Kokichi mumbled. He took Shuuichi’s hand and marched ahead, a grin growing on his face. He couldn’t believe his luck. How had he earned the affections of someone he loved? Whose life did he save? A few steps down the hallway, he turned around, beaming and hoping his words were enough to convey the sheer joy buzzing through him. “I love you, Saihara-chan!”

Shuuichi gave him a fond smile. “I love you too, Ouma-kun.”

 

*

 

A single picture was uploaded to KingHorse’s Tumblr page later that day. A short, purple-haired boy wearing a white uniform and checkered scarf faced the camera with a grin and two fingers raised in a peace sign. He appeared to be the one taking the picture, as part of his arm was cut off from the photo. Another boy, taller and golden-eyed, wore a soft smile and black uniform. His arm was wrapped around the other boy’s shoulders. The caption was written in italics: _“Nishishi! Looks like I stole my own detective’s heart!”_ A link to the fic referenced was provided underneath. Questions gathered in KingHorse’s askbox, but they would remain unanswered until hours later.

On the Fanlore page titled “Love Across the Universe,” the website was updated with a screenshot of the picture KingHorse had uploaded. Responses in the reblogs and replies were recorded under the “Reception” tab, ranging from keysmashes to essays drawing the connection from the couple in the picture to the characters in the fic.

Announcements were made by fans on various forms of social media. While most were proclamations that a fan’s life was now complete in all caps, some were genuine congratulations to the couple.

And as the news and congratulations blazed through the Internet, fourteen people collectively took a deep breath and screamed.

 

*

 

“You irresponsible, atrocious, foolish, idiotic imbecile! Are you kidding me, Ouma-kun?”

Kokichi paused, processing the words Tsumugi had yelled at him as soon as he walked into the classroom the next morning. “I’m sorry, what?”

“She means you’re a stupid bitch.”

“Ah, yes. Thanks, Iruma-chan.”

“No problem,” Miu said, smiling before remembering why she had come to school early. She turned to him with a scowl on her face. “Hey, wait a fucking minute, you don’t get out of this shit that easily.”

Tsumugi shook her head. “You trust random strangers on the Internet more than you trust your best friends? I’m hurt, Ouma-kun. I really am.”

Kokichi smiled. “Aw, how sad. I guess you should have thought about that before you two stuck your nose into my personal business.”

The two froze and exchanged a panicked look.

“Oh, wow. You actually did that? I never knew.”

“You liar, I know you’re lying about not knowing… if that makes sense. Listen, it wasn’t my fault,” Tsumugi said, “I wanted to speed things up, sure, but Iruma-san was the one who asked me to do it.”

Miu whipped around to her with an overdramatic gasp and hand clutching her heart. “You bitch, you’re throwing me under the bus?”

“Who wouldn’t?” Kokichi snickered at Miu’s sputters before his grin faded down to a fond smile. “It’s fine. It ended up for the best, right?” His grin returned when several other classmates walked into the room.

“Kokichi, Atua wishes you and Shuuichi a happy relationship!” Angie sang as she skipped past him.

It took all of Kokichi’s effort into not letting his face pale. “... You follow my Tumblr?” His efforts were in vain when he was grabbed by the collar by a familiar hand.

“You hurt Saihara, and you’re dead by sundown,” Maki hissed, her red eyes narrowed.

“Harukawa-chan, you follow my Tumblr, too? Wait, are you that hater anon that always comes back every two weeks?”

Maki dropped him as quickly as she had grabbed him and walked away without another word, and that was all Kokichi needed to know.

As more and more people walked into the classroom, it became clear that everyone in the class was at least aware of his AO3 and Tumblr account if they didn’t follow it, and he couldn’t hate life more at that moment.

Then Shuuichi joined the class last, and Kokichi’s pout curled up into a grin.

“Good morning, Saihara-chan!” Kokichi cheered.

Shuuichi had only managed to smile and open his mouth before the flood of questions was released onto him.

“Finally! I was wondering when you and Ouma-kun would get together.”

“Hey, Suckhara! You guys get to the real dirty fucking yet? … Don’t you glare at me like that, you’re the twink of this friend group and you know it, Twinkma.”

“Seriously? You’re dating Ouma of all people?”

“I…” Shuuichi’s lips curled up into a smile when his eyes landed on Kokichi. “Yeah, I am. And I’m very happy with him.”

Kokichi’s heart stopped. He couldn’t think. He ducked his head and dashed behind Tsumugi and Miu, one of which chuckled and ruffled his hair and the other only laughed at his suffering. “Stupid Saihara-chan…”

Shuuichi chuckled. “Sorry. It’s true, though.”

“Aw, that’s so cute! I’m so glad you and Ouma-kun finally got together,” Kaede said, clasping her hands together.

“Even I had to admit that as beautiful as human love is, it was… a bit frustrating seeing the stubbornness of human nature demonstrated alongside it,” Korekiyo added.

“You guys are so mean,” Kokichi whined, “Who do you think we are, idiots?”

The entire class fell silent.

“Rude.”

And as the students spoke up to defend themselves, Shuuichi and Kokichi locked eyes and smiled. There had been rough patches over the last several months, but that was par for the course in the story called life, a story without warning tags or guarantee of a happy ending. They had chipped away at their difficulties, sometimes alone, sometimes together, until all that was left was a wish for a brighter future. And hopefully, that bright future would be spent with each other.

The thief and the detective’s story may have ended, but Kokichi and Shuuichi’s story was just beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I can't believe it's finally over... This has been majorly fun to write ~~though it's also sucked all my free time away~~ and I'm so glad so many of you like it. When I was talking about it with a friend, I thought it would be like 10k words at most but now it's sprouted into this 6 chapter mess with almost triple that amount and thinking about it makes me want to cry. Thank you all so much for your continued support while I was writing this, especially to ReturnToZero for giving me the idea for this AU in the first place and my irl friend for tolerating all my screaming (and I did a _lot_ of screaming). All your comments, hits, and kudos mean the world to me. If you ever want to talk, you can hit me up on my Tumblr megastarstrike.
> 
> As always, please let me know if you have any questions.

**Author's Note:**

> @writers please dont treat your beta readers like that beginning scene. they will Murder you in your sleep  
> @mobile users im sorry for the trash formatting. please forgive me  
> also note: nothing is more despairing than spending a good portion of the day writing and then losing the draft bc you forgot to save. i mean that never happened to me but can you imagine anything more painful?
> 
> Please let me know if you have any questions!


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